


Failure Isn't The End

by believe_in_alderaan



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: After JFO, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Ninth Sister - Freeform, Pain, Post-Canon, Spoilers, There will be more tags as I go, Whump, merrical - Freeform, this story is full of feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/believe_in_alderaan/pseuds/believe_in_alderaan
Summary: Sequel to Poison Control (read that first so you're not confused): https://archiveofourown.org/works/21714286/chapters/51795574Cal and Merrin had been free from Achristo for a little over four standard months now and were both growing stronger every day. They, along with Greez and Cere, rebuilt some of the structures that had been left by Master Cordova on Bogano so that the planet was a bit more livable. While they still mainly stayed on the Mantis, it was nice to be on solid ground. Bogano was a sanctuary for all of them.The planet was wonderful, but Cal grew restless. He knew there were still threats in the galaxy, and wanted to do his part. Still, there was little to no static via the empire channels, and the partisans hadn't called on them for help during their time on Bogano. At least, not until now.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin
Comments: 73
Kudos: 133





	1. Return

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel to Poison Control! Fair warning, this fic is still purely for my own entertainment, and I will share it with you. I don't need criticism, only love and excitement. Cheers!

Cal and Merrin had been free from Achristo for a little over four standard months now and were both growing stronger every day. They, along with Greez and Cere, rebuilt some of the structures that had been left by Master Cordova on Bogano so that the planet was a bit more livable. While they still mainly stayed on the Mantis, it was nice to be on solid ground. Bogano was a sanctuary for all of them. The weather was consistently good, the wildlife was manageable, and the easily explored terrain was a helpful reminder that even a single planet had many different stories to tell.

The world had a variety of foliage and animals that Cal enjoyed exploring and documenting with BD-1. Every so often he’d return to the ship with a new edible plant that he and Greez would figure out how to cultivate. Soon they had a garden with lots of produce to help sustain them and limit the amount of times they had to go off-world for supplies. Cal never joined the others when they left the planet for short periods, he preferred staying out of sight until he regained his strength.

There was a lot of unease within the small crew. Cere kept listening in on the Imperial channels as well as on the holonet to see what kinds of activities were going on. She wanted to help more Jedi, but it seemed that none were being discovered. This could be both good and bad. Just like how Cal had survived and gone undetected, there could be so many more that are hiding and will live out the rest of their lives in fear. EIther that, or there are truly no more Jedi left.

Cere taught Cal more Jedi principles and techniques, including fighting. She had kept Trilla’s lightsaber as a reminder of her former padawan, and only used it when sparring with Cal for practice. Merrin occasionally joined in on the fun, providing different scenarios to help Cal gain more knowledge about how to win in battle against different types of enemies.

Merrin herself was happy for the practice with Cal. She had spent a lot of time on Dathomir staying alive and planning for revenge. She hadn’t realized until spending time with Cal that growth wasn’t just measured by power, but also by character. She and the young Jedi had grown closer during their time healing from their ordeals. Cal was extremely cautious and took things very slowly, which Merrin didn’t mind. After a few weeks of this she realized he was attempting to court her, which she found endearing. 

The memories of the last battle on Nur kept Cal on alert at all times, making the nights harder to endure. He felt like a failure. Yes they had rescued the holocron, but they had lost Trilla. He was so sure they could save her, bring her back, only to have her cut down by Darth Vader right in front of them. He had felt the light in her in the moment before her death, and that feeling was then replaced with cold failure.

Cal had had a fairly easy recovery physically since being kidnapped and poisoned by the chiss, Achristo. Merrin stayed by his side constantly, making sure his wounds healed and his vitals were normal. Some nights Cal would wake up with a high fever, or a massive headache, and Merrin would be there right away to help him. Though he was still shy about being given so much attention, he was eternally grateful for her and her care. 

Merrin and Cal loved each other deeply, there was no denying it. Still, an outside observer may not see the connection right away. Both of them were extremely held-back in their emotions. Merrin was learning how to allow herself to be vulnerable, and Cal had a lot to learn about expressing his emotions. It didn’t help that Merrin had been mishandled by her captor Achristo. The mental scars from that time were still raw and every so often she broke down as she processed the horror she had endured. Still, as a couple they managed small gestures such as laying together in a ratty hammock that Cal managed to put together under the shade of the Mantis, or holding hands while they explored another crevice in the twisty landscape. 

“You’re bringing out the best in me, Cal Kestis,” Merrin teased one evening as she applied a new bandage to Cal’s lightsaber chest wound. They sat together in one of the small dwellings on the planet. “After the loss of my people, I only took care of myself when I was on Dathomir.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Cal said with a grin. He winced as she applied a small amount of pressure to the bacta patch. “ _ Why _ does this still hurt?” he said through grit teeth.

Merrin smoothed over the bandage, then handed Cal his black tunic. “I’m not sure, I’ve never encountered a wound like this,” she said thoughtfully. “It’s been months yet there is little to no improvement. Everything else your body went through is almost mended.” She brushed a hand over a few of the scars on his pale body.

Cal pulled his tunic over his head and ruffled his hair back his preferred style. “It hurts more at night,” he admitted. “I’ve… been having nightmares again.”

“I know,” Merrin replied bluntly. “You do not rest well, and I can feel it, even rooms away.”

Cal looked away from her for a moment. “I was hoping it wasn’t disturbing you,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to be a problem.”

Merrin scoot herself closer to him and took his hands in hers. “I would not have stayed if you were a problem,” she said, waiting for him to look at her again.

“What are we doing here anyway?” Cal said, meeting her gaze. “I almost feel like I did back on Bracca. I just did the bare minimum to survive. I don’t like hiding.”

“Cere has been keeping up with Saw Gererra, as well as the communications and activities of the inquisitors,” Merrin reminded him. “We will do what we must when the time is right. Until then, you and I have needed to heal and to learn.”

Cal nodded. “I guess I’m just restless.”

Merrin pulled Cal up with her as she stood, then gathered him into a gentle hug, burying her face in his neck. The Jedi was still getting used to the physical contact but could still relax into the embrace. Years of being alone had really done a number on him, and he was also afraid of smothering the nightsister with his own feelings because of her similar past. Still, he never shied away from any affection Merrin gave him.

“Maybe it’s the memory of the attack, of the initial pain,” Cal breathed, still thinking about his chest wound. He kept his arms tight around Merrin’s frame.

“I hope not,” Merrin said softly. “I do not think it will ever leave you.” 

They stood together for a moment longer, the sounds of the wildlife around them penetrating the calm. “Let’s go help Greez,” Cal finally said, pulling away. “I promised him he wouldn’t have to tend that garden by himself. I think BD-1 is out there ‘supervising’, which he probably doesn’t appreciate.”

The pair left the small hut and climbed a nearby hill back up toward the Mantis. Nearby, Greez was working on weeding the small plot they had planted. “About time you got here,” the latero grumbled. “The droid has been NO help.”

Cal chuckled. “He’s a great overseer,” he said, bending down next to Greez. BD-1 chirped with enthusiasm as he hopped onto Cal’s back.

“Yeah well he’s basically useless to me,” Greez mumbled as he pulled another stubborn weed.

“Hey, we’ve got a lead!” Cere called from the Mantis. Cal and Greez shot up and faced her.

“What… kind of lead?” Cal asked.

Cere descended the ramp. “I intercepted an imperial coded message. The inquisitors are on the move again. What’s strange about it is that they are calling on the ninth sister… who we thought had been killed on Kashyyyk.”

Cal swallowed hard. “So she’s alive?”

“Looks like it,” Cere replied grimmly. “They don’t seem to be short in numbers. Worse yet, they’ve tracked down a force user, possibly a Jedi living on the run.”

“We’ve got to move,” Cal said breathlessly, determination growing his chest. “We have to help!”

“It’s not that easy, Cal,” Cere said calmly. “Finding you and getting you out of Bracca safely was pure luck. This Jedi was located in the Southern hemisphere of Kessel. Not the mines, but still a dangerous place that is occupied by a crime syndicate. The empire has a hand in the operations on the planet, so even in the more habitable parts of the planet, there is still danger.”

“Not to mention the Kessel Run,” Greez interjected. “That route is dangerous, even with the guides.”

“Are you trying to come up with reasons not to go and help?” Cal asked, balling his fists.

“No, Cal, I’m trying to prepare you for the possibility of failure,” Cere replied. She cast a sideways glance toward Merrin. “We want to do what we can, but we can’t risk losing ourselves in the process.”

Cal looked away from the group for a moment. The thought of failure hadn’t crossed his mind. Still, he couldn’t sit in the sidelines and let another Jedi be hunted down and either be turned into an inquisitor or killed. 

Almost as though she could read Cal’s thoughts, Merrin chimed in. “When can we leave?” she asked. She snaked her hand into his, offering reassurance.

“Now, if you’re ready,” Greez said, folding both sets of arms. “We’ve got plenty of supplies for this kind of mission as long as we restock after the pickup.”

“Are you ready?” Cere asked Cal.

“Let’s go,” the young Jedi responded with unbridled conviction.


	2. The Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So how do we extract them? Are we going to make it before the Empire?” Cal asked. 
> 
> “They are almost as close as we are, we may end up racing them through the run to the planet itself. It would alert them to our presence, unless Merrin can cloak the ship again,” Cere replied.
> 
> Merrin nodded. “For that long it will be difficult, but I can do it.”
> 
> “The Kessel Run requires us to go pretty slow so that we don’t hit any debris,” Greez mentioned. “It goes through the Akkadese Maelstrom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowish chapter. Gotta get where we are goin'!

“It will take a day and a half to get to the opening of the Kessel Run,” Greez informed the crew upon leaving the Bogano atmosphere. “There are two jump points we need to reach before then, so buckle up.”

Cal stayed in the rear of the ship checking the circuits on BD-1. He tried distracting himself with maintenance so that his mind would stop making him worry that they wouldn’t make it in time. Cere had decoded a few more transmissions, giving them hope. The inquisitor wasn’t going to get to Kessel until around the same time they would, meaning they hadn’t made a move toward the Jedi yet. 

Foreboding thoughts kept invading Cal’s mind as he tinkered with his droid. His connection to the force had not been healed quite yet. Achristo had damaged what Cal had only recently repaired, and it felt like starting over once more. The physical and emotional strain that it was causing was enough to bring him to his knees during some nights. 

“Bwoop?” 

Cal looked down, realizing he’d stopped what he was doing and was essentially staring at the wall while he thought. “Sorry, buddy,” he said with a slight smile. “Just… thinking.”

The small droid leapt off the worktable and skittered to the living area of the ship. Cal watched him go, undecided if he would follow. The crew still needed to formulate an actual plan to execute once they arrived on the planet Kessel.

“Cal?”

Cal jumped at the sound of his name. Merrin stepped into the read hold looking concerned. “Are you going to join us?” she asked carefully.

“Y-yes I am, I’m sorry,” Cal said sheepishly. “I’ve been… lost in thought.”

Merrin’s face softened. “I guessed as much. When beedee came running out and you didn’t, I knew you were probably preoccupied.”

Cal sighed and sat on his cot, his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept repeating. “Maybe I’m not ready for something like this.”

Merrin sat beside him and placed a soft hand on his back. “Why not?” she asked.

“After what we got to deal with searching for the holocron, after all that happened with that damn chiss, and now we are running head-on into a fight with an inquisitor that we thought was dead,” Cal shook as he spoke. “I almost lost you,” he added quietly.

“You’re afraid,” Merrin concluded. She leaned her forehead onto his shoulder. “I am afraid, too.” 

Cal looked over at her. “You?”

“Cal we are very good at finding trouble, and trouble is very good at finding us. But as you said, we can’t just do nothing,” Merrin admitted. “And so, we have to take our fear and use it to keep ourselves alive while we fight. If we don’t fight, then why do we live?”

Another heavy sigh escaped Cal’s lips as he ran a hand through his hair. Merrin pulled Cal closer, almost willing his stress to burden her instead. The warmth of her hold caused a small smile to play on Cal’s lips and he leaned in to her embrace. 

  
After a time, the couple joined Greez and Cere at the holotable where a projection of Kessel was spinning aimlessly. The Mantis was on the second jump to the edge of the Kessel Run, which would then take 20 parces to navigate going at regular speed. 

Cere gave Cal a knowing look before jumping in to the plan. “Saw and his team can’t assist, so we are on our own. From what I’ve been able to gather, the Jedi is somewhere in this region of the planet,” she pointed at a continent in the southern hemisphere of Kessel. “What I can’t determine is how the empire found out about them.”

“So how do we extract them? Are we going to make it before the Empire?” Cal asked. 

“They are almost as close as we are, we may end up racing them through the run to the planet itself. It would alert them to our presence, unless Merrin can cloak the ship again,” Cere replied.

Merrin nodded. “For that long it will be difficult, but I can do it.”

“The Kessel Run requires us to go pretty slow so that we don’t hit any debris,” Greez mentioned. “It goes through the Akkadese Maelstrom.”

“Have you done it before?” Cal asked.

Greez nodded. “Once. I wasn’t racing the Empire though. I was… running… spice”

Cere ignored Greez’s confession. “This is a smuggler lane, but it’s still the fastest way to the planet from this hyperspace point. Once we reach Kessel, I should be able to pinpoint the location of the Jedi using the Empire’s communications. The bad thing about doing that is we have to allow them to get closer to the target.”

“How do we keep the Empire from killing the Jedi?” Merrin asked.

“Recklessly,” Cere replied with a sideways smile. “Actually we can’t really formulate that plan yet until we know exactly where the Jedi it and what their status is. But, if things get too heated, we have to pull out. We can’t risk losing the Mantis, or any of our crew.”

Cal was staring intently at the projection of the planet, half listening. He knew they were taking a huge risk, but he was more concerned about whomever they were going to attempt to save. The thought of giving up made his blood boil, but he kept his mouth shut.

The remainder of the jump took a few more hours. Greez cooked a semi-modest meal with their leftover provisions and they all ate in silence. Cal excused himself first and went to lie down. Merrin decided to follow shortly after.

“You’re not good at hiding your emotions,” Merrin said quietly as she knelt next to the bed.

Cal turned to her, his mouth in a thin line. “I’m not trying to,” he replied dryly. He started to sit up but Merrin pushed him gently back down.

“Should I leave you alone?” she asked.

“No, no, I’m sorry,” Cal said softly. “I’m just… stressed.”

Merrin put a hand on Cal’s cheek. “Whether we extract the Jedi or not, we cannot lose anybody on this ship,” she reminded him.

  
“I know,” Cal said, staring at the ceiling. “Just… I didn’t dare hope there were other survivors out there. I don’t know what I’ll do if we don’t succeed.”

“We will carry on,” Merrin said after a pause. She leaned her head on Cal’s chest. “And we will survive.”

\---

The entrance to the Kessel Run was looming. Merrin sat at the front of the ship, ready to chant her spell to cover the ship. Before they entered the lane, another ship came out of hyperspace nearby.

“Stardestroyer,” Greez breathed. He began shutting down the ship’s power temporarily to avoid being detected. The large battleship hung for a moment, almost as though it was in thought. Then several tie fighters and a shuttle disembarked from the hangar and began the journey to Kessel.

“Merrin, cloak the ship. Once we are cloaked we can return power to the ship and begin the run ourselves,” Cere instructed. “Greez, do you think you can match the speed of those ties and then go slightly faster? We need to get to the planet before they do so that we can hide and listen.”

“Should be able to,” Greez said, flipping one last switch. The engines roared to life. He motioned to Merrin who nodded and held out her hands. She cradled her talisman and began to chant, her green magick filling every space of the ship. On the inside it appeared unchanged, but on the outside the Mantis was completely invisible.

“Here we go,” Greez breathed as he pushed the ship forward. 

Cal and Cere watched the large star destroyer as they maneuvered to the opening of the run. There was no movement, and no alarming chatter over the communications. Soon they were underway, and managed to catch up to the small convoy of Imperial ships. 

  
“The ninth sister is on that shuttle,” Cal said. “That’s the shuttle she arrived in on Kashyyyk.”

The journey was slow going. Greez managed to catch up to the group of ships, then maneuvered around them without causing alarm.

Cal felt a twinge in the force. He turned to Merrin and his heart sank. She was still chanting, still keeping the ship safe, but she was shaking. He could feel her fatigue and wondered how much longer she could hold on.

“Cere, she’s not going to make it,” Cal said. He put a hand on Merrin’s shaking shoulder. She didn’t acknowledge him and continued her spells.

“Offer her your strength,” Cere instructed. She herself put a hand on Merrin’s other shoulder. “We can do this together.”

Cal nodded and focused his energy. He could feel Merrin’s pain flowing off of her as he offered his own strength to replace it. The effort was considerable, but he knew it was the only way.

Finally they broke free of the run and the large planet loomed before them. Greez quickly calculated coordinates and began their descent to the planet. 

“We’re close to the quadrant the Empire will be targeting. Let’s find cover,” Cere instructed.

The ship touched down in a mountainous area. Merrin dropped her hands and slumped sideways into Cal’s arms. “You did it,” he whispered fondly. She nodded tiredly and buried her face deeper into his neck. Cal motioned to BD for a stim shot and gave it to the wiped out nightsister. He held her tight until she caught her breath.

Cere turned from her console. “I’m picking up new communications from the Imperial convoy. They are moving to a nearby settlement for the target. We’ve got to move.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kessel Run: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kessel_Run


	3. Rescue Operation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Time to move. Beedee, now!” Merrin commanded.
> 
> BD-1 cut the power, plunging the entire area into pitch black darkness. He then scurried over and mounted himself onto Cal’s back. 
> 
> “Hold on to me,” Merrin instructed Cal. He nodded and grasped her belt so that her hands would be free. She began to chant quietly until her eyes glowed neon green. Then she began to descend the building, Cal in tow.

Cal and Merrin readied themselves for their mission. Cere was to remain behind with Greez to monitor communications and be ready in case they needed a quick pickup. 

Cal tucked his lightsaber onto his belt and then slipped his poncho over his head, making sure his weapon was concealed. He then put a blaster in his new holster, hoping he wouldn’t need to use it. He was a lousy shot, but it was better than exposing himself as a Jedi. Merrin also readied herself with a blaster. They slipped their comm-earpieces in and departed the Mantis. The sun was already setting on this part of the planet, which made it easier to stay hidden. 

“Head southwest, toward the sunset,” Cere instructed. “They’re planning a roundup of the occupants of this small town. Once you get there, find the highest point and watch, we may not get a chance until they find them first. This could end up being more of a rescue than an extraction.”

“Got it, thanks Cere,” Cal responded. BD-1 chirped from behind. He was hanging on to Cal’s back for dear life.   
  


“There’s the town,” Merrin said quietly as they ran. 

“Find a droid port. Most towns have them for maintenance droids, you might be able to pull a map and find the town center,” Cere continued. “I’ll monitor your position from here. Relay any intel as soon as you have it so that we can finalize our plan.”

Cal and Merrin ran along an outer wall. The small city was mainly stone dwellings with technology haphazardly scattered. It was as though this town had been untouched by modern advances until recently.

“Bwoop!” BD-1 jumped off of Cal’s back and rushed to a nearby port.

“Good work, bud. Try to get those schematics.”

Cal and Merrin kept watch. Soon the small droid was chirping excitedly and displayed a holomap for them to inspect. 

“There, that’s got to be it,” Merrin said, pointing to a spot on the map. 

“Keep your guard up,” Cere reminded them both in the comm. “This entire planet is under the Empire’s thumb.”

A sudden jarring sound filled the air. Cal, Merrin, and BD-1 sunk deeper into the shadows as the alarm sounded. Large flood lights began to switch on, illuminating the now-dark town. Then, a voice.

“Attention citizens, all are required to assemble in the marketplace square  _ immediately _ . Any refusal to do so will result in execution.”

Stormtroopers were beginning to fill the streets. BD-1 let out a soft trill before scrambling up Cal’s back. 

“They already had this place locked down, they just needed the inquisitor to seal the deal,” Cal muttered.

Merrin took Cal’s hand. “Come on, this way.”

The couple scurried along the nearly deserted alleyways and roads, hoping they weren’t under surveillance. Soon they were close to the square. Cal gave Merrin a boost so that they could climb to the top of a small restaurant and wait. 

Stormtroopers lined the square, blasters held out front. Many ordinary beings stood around looking confused. There was a raised platform in the center of the square, on which stood the ninth sister.

“That’s her,” Cal indicated. He handed Merrin a pair of binocs. 

“You said you defeated her on Kashyyyk. How did she survive?”

“She must not have fallen as far as I thought. Sometimes… the will to live is stronger than falling off of a large tree,” Cal replied.

“Wait, Cal! They’re leading somebody to the platform in cuffs,” Merrin gasped. 

  
Cal took the binocs and peered at the individual. “Oh no,” he breathed, his pulse quickening. “They already had him. They’re making his execution and example.” Their target was an older human man who seemed to have slight difficulty in walking. Cal didn’t recognize him, but what he did notice was the man’s resolve written on his face.

“Cere, we have a huge problem,” Merrin said into her comm. “They’ve already captured the Jedi and are leading him to execution.”

“The inquisitor must be there for a show of force,” Cere replied. “What’s the full situation?”

“The square is filled to the brim with stormtroopers and civilians. Any move and we’d have too many casualties,” Cal said angrily. “We can’t just sit here though, we have to do something  _ now _ .”

  
“What do you propose we do? Swing in and grab them? Not likely to work,” Cere said in an exasperated tone. “This mission may already be over.”

“Beedee, can you slice into the town’s electricity system?” Merrin asked. 

BD-1 jumped down from Cal’s back and trilled a confirmation before running to the far side of the flat roof.

“This might be our only chance,” Merrin said, facing Cal. She had a stern look. “I know you cannot see in the dark, but with my magick I am able to see anything. If we can sneak down there in the cover of darkness we can get the Jedi away from the enemy before they are able to regain control of the lights.”

“Absolutely not,” Cere huffed over the comm. “Too dangerous. Get ready, we are picking you up at the outskirts.”

“No, Cere. We have to try,” Cal snapped.

“You had better know what you’re doing. Do NOT use your lightsaber unless absolutely necessary. You’d draw too much attention,” Cere instructed, clearly defeated. “Good luck.”

“Beedee, do you have it?” Merrin called in a half-whisper.

BD-1 chirped his response, ready for the signal. Merrin crouched next to Cal, who was still watching the stand. “Cal, I will lead us through the swath of people to the Jedi. Once we have him, I will tell you where to focus your force abilities so that you can push a clear path for us. Hopefully we can get out without any bloodshed.”

Cal turned to Merrin, reading the concern and determination on her face. “I trust you,” he said. “Let’s do this.”

  
“On my signal, beedee,” Merrin said. She took the binocs from Cal and watched. “There’s an alleyway over there that’s not too guarded. That’s our escape route. If we can get in there, we can find cover.”

A grand admiral began to speak to the crowd. “Citizens, we have here a traitor, one who has lived amongst you for several years, selling lies to small rebel cells and amassing followers against the empire. This man,” he practically spat that word, “is a Jedi, a traitor to your government and a murderer.”

The Jedi appeared to show no emotion as he stood, his hands bound in front of him. He seemed almost at peace with what was about to happen. 

An execution trooper began making his way through the crowd to the stand. Cal had never seen one before. He wielded a laser ax, which was crackling with energy as he marched.

“Time to move. Beedee, now!” Merrin commanded.

BD-1 cut the power, plunging the entire area into pitch black darkness. He then scurried over and mounted himself onto Cal’s back. 

“Hold on to me,” Merrin instructed Cal. He nodded and grasped her belt so that her hands would be free. She began to chant quietly until her eyes glowed neon green. Then she began to descend the building, Cal in tow.

The chaos was quieter than they had expected, most of the crowd staying still for fear of being singled out. The storm troopers attempted to regain order, some shining weak flashlights. They weaved their way through confused civilians, careful not to cause any alarm. Cal stayed close to Merrin, being careful not to tread on her heels as she guided him.

The elderly Jedi was still standing at the platform. Merrin reached out and touched his arm gently. He didn’t flinch. “We are here to help,” Merrin insisted. “Please, come with us.”

It was as though the Jedi could see them, even in the darkness. He hesitated at first, but then decided to follow. Cal reached out and guided the man’s hand to his belt. 

“Okay, we need a path over there,” Merrin took Cal’s other hand and extended it in the direction they needed. He then pulled back and called on the force. The push created a clear path, though he felt bad that he’d knocked over the majority of those in that direction. They weaved through the crowd.

Lights began to illuminate the square once more. They began to run. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a smidge of research, it's fine.


	4. Dig Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop them!” came a shout from the end of the alley.
> 
> “Merrin, go!” Cal demanded. Merrin nodded and allowed herself to drop down the hole, the elder Jedi following. Cal looked up and spied an overhang. He jumped up and sliced several times with his saber, bringing debris raining down on top of the sewer entrance once he’d made it through the opening. He had managed to stop the pursuit for now.
> 
> The water was cold. Cal swam upward as fast as he could while also trying to swallow his panic. When his head broke the surface, he searched for Merrin and the rescued Jedi. The water carried him further and further as he fought to keep his head above water.

Cal thought for a moment that he had gone blind. The sudden shift from dark to light had been jarrin to say the least, and he lost his grip on Merrin’s hand. When he could finally see, he noticed the crowd around them pulling back to avoid versus trying to stop them. 

“Arrest them!” came a booming voice over the speakers. Still, the townsfolk remained as far away from them as possible.

“There’s our exit,” Merrin breathed. 

Cal felt the hairs on the back of his neck prick. He looked back to find that the ninth sister was chasing them, gaining ground faster than they could. Murderous rage was painted across her scarred face.

“We’ve got a problem!” Cal shouted. 

Merrin dared to look back. The elder Jedi turned as well, focusing his energy. He managed to force-push the inquisitor back twenty or so feet to buy them some time. 

“Let’s go!” the man yelled. 

They reached the edge of the crowd and found their desired alleyway. Because of BD-1’s map, Merrin knew there was a sewer entrance at the end of the lane and guided both of the Jedi to the goal.

“Can you swim?” Cal asked the Jedi. He pulled his lightsaber and sliced the bindings on the man’s wrists. He then holstered the weapon.

“You’re… a Jedi,” the man replied. 

“Yes, now, can you swim?” Cal said quickly.

The man nodded. Merrin had opened the hatch and peered down. “Good, the water is very high right now.”

“Stop them!” came a shout from the end of the alley.

“Merrin, go!” Cal demanded. Merrin nodded and allowed herself to drop down the hole, the elder Jedi following. Cal looked up and spied an overhang. He jumped up and sliced several times with his saber, bringing debris raining down on top of the sewer entrance once he’d made it through the opening. He had managed to stop the pursuit for now.

The water was cold. Cal swam upward as fast as he could while also trying to swallow his panic. When his head broke the surface, he searched for Merrin and the rescued Jedi. The water carried him further and further as he fought to keep his head above water.

“Bweeeoop!” BD-1 trilled frantically. Cal tried to respond but kept taking mouthfuls of water.

“Cal, over here!” Merrin was shouting from a ledge. The Jedi stood near her and extended a hand. Cal managed to swim to the side and latch on to his arm. 

Dripping and panting, Cal stayed on his knees to catch his breath. Merrin knelt down next to him. “You okay?”

Cal nodded. “You?”

Merrin nodded back. She helped Cal to his feet, then gestured to a ladder high above them. “There’s a droid port over there. Beedee may be able to lower the ladder for us.”

BD-1 jumped down and scurried over to the port. After a moment, the ladder was freed. The elderly Jedi motioned to Merrin and Cal to climb first. Merrin released the hatch at the top and peered around. Satisfied that they were alone, she exited the manhole. 

“Come, we need to find cover,” Merrin instructed the others. 

“Over here,” the elder Jedi instructed. He led them down passage after passage. Though they knew they weren’t being followed, they had to listen to sirens and screeching as the inquisitor and her lackeys searched for the escapees. 

Finally they arrived at a run-down looking cantina. Inside was another hidden passage that led to a hatch in the floor. Cal helped Merrin to drop down into the dimly lit room, then followed. Soon all three stood in the makeshift shelter. The small dwelling had two rooms, and had very few furnishings. At the same time, it seemed the man had been hiding here for some time.

“There, we should be safe. Now, would you two kindly tell me who you are?” the older Jedi asked. 

Cal took a closer look at the man. He had dark hair with hefty streaks of silver, and his eyes looked sagged and tired. He wore robes, though not like what Jedi typically wear. These robes were blue and less flowy. His face also bore several scars, and a neat goatee.

“I am Merrin,” the nightsister said kindly. “And this is Cal Kestis.”

“Ah yes, a young Jedi I presume,” the man said. He gave a half smile and gestured to himself. “I am Kordra Mennis.”

“Kordra, are you a Jedi master?” Cal asked cautiously.

Kordra shook his head. “Though I was trained in the ways of the Jedi, I left the order shortly before the purge, before I ever had my own padawan. Had I known what would befall my friends, I would have stayed. I became… disillusioned with the teachings of the Jedi, and instead traveled the galaxy finding peace and fulfillment in the service of others.”

Cal folded his arms. “Disillusioned how?” he asked.

“You do not need that kind of negativity, Cal. Your order is long gone, I don’t want to hurt you further,” Kordra said gently. “Just know that… not every Jedi is a good Jedi.”

“I think I can understand that,” Cal said dejectedly. “Why are you still being hunted?”

“Just because I left the order doesn’t mean I’m not a threat,” Kordra said. “The Force is still with me, and as far as I have learned they are hunting force-sensitives, not just those who were Jedi.”

Cal thought to the holocron that they had destroyed soon after retrieving it. He was already glad he had destroyed it, but now he was even more relieved for those children.

“Can we help you off this world?” Merrin asked. “We have a ship, though I can’t seem to hail them, all signals are jammed. We may have to find a way there instead of planning for them to pick us up.”

Kordra smiled slightly. “If you are offering, then yes. I have hidden here for over five years, wondering what to do next. I suppose this is my answer.”

“Good. We will need to leave soon, our contacts will be worried,” Merrin said. 

“Let me gather my things. When they took me, I wasn’t carrying my lightsaber. The inquisitor was very disappointed in finding that I didn’t have it on me,” Kordra said. He then moved to the other room to find his things.

“Cal, do you trust him?” Merrin asked quietly when they were alone.

  
“I don’t see why we shouldn’t,” Cal replied. “I’m not saying he should travel with us forever, but we should definitely get him somewhere safe.”

Merrin nodded in agreement. 

Kordra returned.“I noticed that one of my rescuers is a nightsister,” he said to Merrin. He then turned to Cal. “I’d also really like to hear your story, Cal Kestis. You obviously survived the purge.”

Cal looked away for a moment. “I was… still a padawan. My master and I escaped the ship we were stationed on, but at the cost of his life. He died so that I could live.”

Kordra put a hand on Cal’s shoulder and looked him sincerely in the eyes. “It sounds like he was a great mentor. You honor him well.”

“Thanks,” Cal said with a slight smile. “Come on, let’s get moving. Our ship isn’t too far out of the city.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know there are Star Wars name generators out there? Thank goodness for that.


	5. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A soft hand found Cal’s and pulled him away from the noxious cloud. He felt dizzy, his arm hurting and his head still gushing blood from the explosion.
> 
> “This way!” Kordra shouted to the pair. He was limping, but alive. Merrin led Cal to a doorway where their friend was waiting. “Come, out the back. We’ve got to find cover.”
> 
> “Come on, Cal, you can do this,” Merrin said frantically. She used her sleeve to wipe blood away from his mouth while half-carrying him. “We can make it.”

Communications were still being disrupted due to the search for the Jedi and his rescuers. Cal knew he had been recognized by the ninth sister, and he was prepared to take her on again if it came to it. He wasn’t sure how she’d survived being thrown off that massive tree on Kashyyyk, and it almost made her more frightening.

“We’re clear, let’s go,” Merrin said in a low voice. The town was still in lockdown, the streets deserted. They slunk along walls and used shadows to their advantage as they made their way out of the city.

The night wore on as they slowly crept. Cal kept getting lost in thought during the ordeal. They’d found another survivor. Although Kordra had left the order, he was still a close connection to the Jedi Order. He had so many questions for the former Jedi.

“Drop!” Merrin hissed. Cal and Kordra obeyed. A few tie-fighters screamed overhead, searchlights combing the town. 

“We need to find a way to speed it up,” Kordra murmured as they regained their footing. “Daylight will be here in less than an hour.”

Cal nodded. “Any suggestions?”

The former Jedi thought for a moment. “Nothing fancy, but maybe we cut through buildings so that we can speed up undercover.”

“I don’t like that. We would be disrupting the inhabitants of this place,” Merrin was quick to say. She motioned for them to follow her again. “It would also draw too much attention, especially if we find an Empire sympathiser.”

“I agree with Merrin,” Cal added. 

Kordra was visibly frustrated. “Alright well, if things get hot then we’d better just outright run.”

Cal nodded. Then, he froze. Something felt… wrong. Kordra seemed to sense it too. “Merrin!” Cal hissed, reaching for her. Too late. A laser trip mine detonated, sending all three flying.

Cal’s ears rang painfully. He was flat on his back, trying to catch his breath. Debris rained down over him, forcing him to shield his face. Lights illuminated their surroundings, blinding him temporarily again.

“Well if it isn’t the Jedi trash,” a familiar voice howled. The ninth sister had found them. Cal turned over painfully so that he could see her. She motioned for her stormtrooper entourage to raise their weapons at him. “Back for a rematch?” she taunted.

Cal got to his feet, his legs shaking beneath him. His left arm felt broken, or at least sprained. “I’d ask you the same. Usually the dead don’t speak,” he responded, gritting his teeth to keep from gasping in pain. He tasted blood and could feel a trickle of warmth down his left cheek. To his left, Merrin was beginning to stir, her face and body marred with scratches. He had no idea where Kordra had ended up.

“Don’t move, scum,” the inquisitor continued, undaunted by his sass. “I’m not just after  _ you _ , I’m after the traitor you tried to rescue.”

Merrin was standing now, her expression blank as she stared down their enemy. Cal could still feel her fear and her pain radiating through the force. He hoped they would make it out of this alive.

“Find the other Jedi,” the inquisitor instructed. About six troopers broke off from the group. The rest kept their blasters trained on Merrin and Cal.

The ninth sister stepped forward, drawing her saber. “I’ll take care of you myself,” she snarled. “You survived Nur, but you won’t survive me.”

Merrin sidestepped toward Cal. “Do not come any closer,” she warned the inquisitor, raising her hands in defense. 

“Merrin, don’t,” Cal pleaded, eyeing the stormtroopers surrounding them. BD-1 trilled softly from Cal’s back, trying to reassure his friend. The air was tense, the smell of ignition powder from the trip mine still lingering.

“For the order!” came a shout from a rooftop. A large grenade landed in their midst, plunging everybody into thick smoke. 

A soft hand found Cal’s and pulled him away from the noxious cloud. He felt dizzy, his arm hurting and his head still gushing blood from the explosion.

“This way!” Kordra shouted to the pair. He was limping, but alive. Merrin led Cal to a doorway where their friend was waiting. “Come, out the back. We’ve got to find cover.”

“Come on, Cal, you can do this,” Merrin said frantically. She used her sleeve to wipe blood away from his mouth while half-carrying him. “We can make it.”

“Here, let me,” Kordra offered. He took one of Cal’s arms and threw it over his shoulder, then began to sprint. Every movement was more pain for the young Jedi, but he fought to stay conscious.

Alarms sounded around them, alerting the enemy of their sighting. More lights illuminated the empty streets, and more stormtroopers were flooding the alleys. 

“There!” Merrin shouted. It was where they had originally entered the small town. “We need to hurry, the ship shouldn’t be too far from here.”

Kordra shifted Cal to a better position and pulled another smoke grenade from his belt. The temporary cover was enough to get them out of the walled portion of the town and heading toward freedom.

More tie fighters screamed overhead. The sun was rising, making them more visible. Cal felt himself sagging against Kordra. “Come on, Kestis, keep moving!” the older Jedi would demand. 

“Troopers!” Merrin shouted from behind. Sure enough, there were troops coming from behind, as well as to their right and left. “We’re trapped!”

“The Mantis,” Cal managed to shout. The large ship was looming over the trees, coming closer to the three escapees. Soon a rain of laserbolts was taking out the swarms of troops. 

“Hurry,” Merri said. She ran and grabbed Cal’s other arm and started moving them toward where the Mantis was about to touch down.

Kordra suddenly pushed both Merrin and Cal to the side. The force sent both to the ground. A red saber flew over their heads, then sailed back toward the ninth sister, who was hot on their tail.

“RUN,” Kordra commanded, drawing his own saber. The Jedi’s blade was yellow, a color Cal had rarely seen. 

Merrin hoisted Cal to his feet. The Mantis was waiting, Cere at the top of the ramp. “Come on!” she shouted, her blaster taking out small swaths of approaching troopers. 

Cal looked behind him and watched as Kordra crossed blades with the inquisitor. The older Jedi looked back as though he had felt Cal’s eyes on him. “GO,” he shouted. He managed to push back the ninth sister, but only briefly. The already-injured man barely stood a chance. A well placed kick to his back and he was on his knees, his saber falling from his grasp. The red blade of the ninth sister was held at his neck.

“NO,” Cal screamed. Merrin held him back. “KORDRA!”

“LIVE, KESTIS. LIVE FOR US, FOR THE ORDER,” Kordra bellowed. He looked to Cal, a soft expression playing on his face like he knew what was next. 

The inquisitor pulled back, then sunk her blade into his chest, making his expression permanent. The gaping hole smouldered and his body fell limp. 

It was almost in slow motion for Cal. His mind replayed flashes of the day that Prauf had died. The saber through his chest, stormtroopers and ships shooting at Cal while he ran, the Mantis finding him, Cere shouting for him to get on board. And for what? For this to happen all over again.

“Cal, Cal please,” Merrin pleaded, pulling him to the ship. “We have to go. Please.” Tears spilled down her cheeks as she half-dragged Cal to the waiting Mantis.

Cere ran down the ramp and helped bring Cal’s nearly petrified self on board. “Greez!” she shouted. “Let’s go!”

Soon they were airborne. Merrin dashed to the front and began her cloaking spell. A few tie-fighters managed some hits before they disappeared. Luckily nothing important was damaged and they were now off the planet and heading back through the run to freedom.

Cal remained sitting on the floor of the ship, oblivious to his surroundings while Cere and the others navigated them to safety. His hair was matted with blood, his arm hung limply by his side. BD-1 climbed down from his back and moved to face him, concerned beeps emitting every so often.

_ Failure. _ Not once had Cal been able to draw his own saber to protect himself and his friends. Not once had he allowed himself to consider failure and the ramifications of this mission. Yet here they were, empty handed.

_ Failure isn’t the end, my friend _ , the words of Eno Corfadova echoed in his ears. He pushed the thought away, his anger rising. “Are we fighting a losing battle?” Cal asked his droid companion. Exhausted from exertion and blood loss, he laid down. “Is it… even.. worth… the fight…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no. :(  
> Thanks for reading, guys. I have the entire story in my head it's just taking... time. Writing has been hard due to frequent migraines, hence the shorter chapters.


	6. Ensue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merrin hugged him tighter. “Yes, I am. That was another close call. I cannot imagine my life without you,” she said, moving to plant a kiss on his temple. “You are precious to me.”
> 
> Cal felt his heart flutter. He felt the same way about her, but could never find the words. She always put things so eloquently, why couldn’t he do the same? “I don’t deserve you,” was all he could say. 
> 
> “Give me one good reason,” Merrin said sternly.
> 
> She was right, of course. There was no good reason to give that she couldn’t counteract, such as he feeling like a coward and a failure. She’d disagree in an instant. So, he remained silent, allowing her the victory.

The rumbling ship was finally in hyperspace. Merrin, exhausted from the mission and from cloaking the ship again, carefully made her way to the living area to check on Cal. She could feel his frustration and grief through the force and wasn’t sure how to approach him. 

She found him lying on the ground, his good arm over his eyes. His body shook with quiet sobs, BD-1 hovering nearby. Merrin knelt next to the distraught Jedi and ran a gentle hand through his fiery red hair. Her hand came away covered in blood and she realized he was more hurt than he let on. She scanned the rest of him and noticed the odd angle that his arm was positioned.

“Cal,” she said softly. “Come on, we need to get you cleaned up.”

Cal didn’t respond except to uncover his eyes and look at her. His face was paler than usual, his eyes sunken and bloodshot. BD-1 nudged Merrin and produced a stimshot, hoping it would help.

“No, beedee, he’s going to need more than this,” she said sweetly to the small droid. She still pocketed the stim in case she needed it later. “Cal, tell me where you’re injured.”

“Arm… broken,” Cal managed to say through gritted teeth. “Head… dizzy… weak… but you… are hurt...” he tried to sit up. 

Merrin pushed him back down. “Not as much as you,” she said.

Cere approached the pair. “Are you both alright?” she asked.

“Cal has a broken arm and a head wound,” Merrin said, still kneeling by the Jedi. “I am fine.”

Cere folded her arms thoughtfully. “The failure of this mission is regrettable, but we must carry on. Let’s meet up with Saw and his partisans. Hopefully they’ll be willing to help Cal in exchange for some more work from us.”

Merrin stood. “I don’t care for how Saw handles missions,” she said sternly.

“Neither do I, but right now he’s our only ally,” Cere said gently. She looked down at Cal. “And the only place we can take a wounded Jedi.”

The journey to the partisan’s base on Teth would take only a few hours. Still, Merrin helped Cal to the rear of the ship to get him cleaned up and stabilized. Cere and Greez kept their distance, knowing that Cal was not just physically hurt from the ordeal.

They both sat on Cal’s cot. Merrin tore some cloth from one of Cal’s ponchos and began to wrap his injured arm in a sling. The pain from the movements made Cal dizzy and nauseated, but he pushed through it. Finally his arm was immobilized, the pain minimal. 

“I don’t want to touch the gash in your head,” Merrin said, eyeing Cal’s matted hair. “The blood finally stopped flowing since it dried up. We will let the medical people take care of it.”

Cal nodded. He hadn’t said much since their escape. He wanted to reach for Merrin, to be held, but his inexperience kept him from doing so. He and Merrin had grown extremely close and yet they had so much ground to cover when it came to having an actual relationship. They were both damaged and naive people that found comfort in each other.

It was as though she had read his thoughts. Merrin scoot herself further back on to the cot, then held her arms out to Cal.

“But, the blood...” Cal began.

“Don’t care, come here,” Merrin replied. Cal obeyed and moved himself next to her, then faced the wall so that his head was resting in the crook of her neck. Her rhythmic breathing was soothing, and she wrapped her arms around his quivering frame and massaged his back. 

“It was not your fault,” Merrin said after a time, still rubbing Cal’s tired shoulders.

“How did you know,” Cal replied, his voice muffled by her shoulder.

“I know everything,” Merrin teased. “Cal, I feel your emotions through the force. You’re going to have to get used to it.”

“I feel yours too, and you’re worried about me,” Cal replied.

Merrin hugged him tighter. “Yes, I am. That was another close call. I cannot imagine my life without you,” she said, moving to plant a kiss on his temple. “You are precious to me.”

Cal felt his heart flutter. He felt the same way about her, but could never find the words. She always put things so eloquently, why couldn’t he do the same? “I don’t deserve you,” was all he could say. 

“Give me one good reason,” Merrin said sternly.

She was right, of course. There was no good reason to give that she couldn’t counteract, such as he feeling like a coward and a failure. She’d disagree in an instant. So, he remained silent, allowing her the victory.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Cere was standing in the doorway. “We are good to land on Teth soon. Saw has a mission that I can help with. Cal, he has a mission for you that he referred to as ‘pending’, if you’re willing to be on call for him when the time is right.”

Cal nodded. “I don’t suppose you know what that mission is,” he said.

Cere shook her head. “No, but he did say it’s one of the most important.”

By the time they reached Teth, Cal was feeling feverish and shaky. Merrin helped Cal off the Mantis onto the hidden landing pad within the mountain. Several medstaff met them at the bottom of the platform and assisted in putting him on a stretcher.

Merrin reached down and caressed Cal’s pale face. He leaned into the touch, his face screwed up in pain. “Don’t leave me,” he croaked.

“I won’t,” Merrin responded softly. “I promise.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really short one. I've been having a hard time writing due to chronic migraines and then I was diagnosed with influenza B about a week and a half ago. The nasty nasty flu still won't go away, and NOW we are all stuck at home thanks to corona virus. Idk about you guys, but I hate this. It's making me nervous and also making it hard to think of good story crap to write. I have the entire thing planned, but I'm losing the want to write thanks to all the fear. Anyway, enjoy the fluff.


	7. The Mission Briefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We know there are entire families out there that will need our help. Potential soldiers, potential rebels,” Saw continued. “Something is coming, something we don’t know about, but we need to act. A contact of mine, whom some of you know, was assisted into hiding a few years ago. Our taskforce has discovered that an Orson Krennic has potentially found the hideout of this associate, so we must act swiftly if we are to keep from out of harm’s way and out of the hands of the enemy. Should we fail, we may end up failing the galaxy.”

The process of fully healing a broken arm in a short amount of time can be excruciating. Though Cal knew there were ways to heal himself using the force, he lacked the knowledge of exactly how. Instead, he endured bacta injections and stim-pulses from the medstaff. 

A welcome distraction was the kind female Mirialan that was working on the large gash on his head. She carefully parted his fiery red hair away from the cut so that she could clean it and apply a generous amount of bacta. When she was finished, she made sure to comb his hair back into place, effectively hiding the wound.

Once the ordeal was over, Merrin helped Cal change into his familiar clothes. Her presence was the ultimate comfort that he needed right then, and he made sure to let her know. “I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t met you,” he said affectionately.

Merrin smiled wriley. “I don’t know where you would be either, Cal Kestis. Who else would help you put on your boots every time you got hurt?”

Cal reached forward and put a hand on the back of the nightsister’s neck. He relished in the softness of her skin, and pulled her forward until their foreheads touched. “I would never wear boots again,” he half-whispered. Merrin laughed. 

\---

The hideout was just as damp and dark as Cal remembered. Their last visit to the base on Teth had been under similar circumstances; they were beaten and broken and in need of help. Not that they minded asking for help, but Saw Gerrera was known to be overly aggressive when it came to freeing oppressed peoples. Cere certainly didn’t agree with his methods, and Merrin seemed somewhat uneasy about working with the group. Still they owed it to the partisans to give them their support in exchange for medical care.

With his arm bandaged and healing, and the bleeding gash on his head a fading memory, Cal sat amongst the partisans while they waited for Saw to address the group. Merrin sat beside him, a reassuring hand on his thigh. Cere had already gotten her mission's briefing earlier while Cal was being seen by the medstaff. This mission was going to be a bit different.

“We all know the Empire’s reach has only gotten further and stronger,” Saw began. “The tyranny spreading across the Galaxy cannot be ignored any longer, even by those passive enough to go into hiding. We have allies out there that will need our help, help to be extracted from the clutches of oppression.”

Several murmurs of agreement flowed through the gathered group. 

“I still do not know much about this empire,” Merrin muttered to Cal.

“I really don’t know as much either. I laid low on Bracca, low enough to avoid any sort of interaction with them,” Cal responded quietly. “They were hunting my kind, I really couldn’t risk it.”

“We know there are entire families out there that will need our help. Potential soldiers, potential rebels,” Saw continued. “Something is coming, something we don’t know about, but we need to act. A contact of mine, whom some of you know, was assisted into hiding a few years ago. Our taskforce has discovered that an Orson Krennic has potentially found the hideout of this associate, so we must act swiftly if we are to keep from out of harm’s way and out of the hands of the enemy. Should we fail, we may end up failing the galaxy.”

Merrin shifted uncomfortably. Cal reached over and squeezed her hand, subtly letting her know they’d talk as soon as they could.

The group dispersed, but Saw was making his way to the Jedi and nightsister. “Can I have a word?” he asked.

Cal nodded and stood, offering a hand to Merrin. They followed Saw to a far corner of the dismal room. 

“The rest of our followers already know the target, so I thought I would fill you in separate,” Saw began. He folded his arms, looking deep in thought for a moment. “The family in question is named Erso. We helped them escape Coruscant several years ago. The empire was using them for some sort of experiment, building a weapon of unimaginable power.”

“A weapon like what?” Merrin asked. 

“Every time I think I know, I’m proven wrong,” Saw replied with an angry sigh. “But I do know this; they are using kyber crystals to power it.” 

Cal felt his stomach drop. “That’s why the empire came to Ilum,” he breathed. 

Saw nodded. “Once they found that planet, mining and production began to ramp up. We’ve been monitoring communications and from what we’ve gathered, they’re missing a few pieces of information and keep hitting roadblocks. They’re searching for Erso to finish his work, finish the weapon.”

“Why not have him here?” Merrin asked. 

Saw shook his head. “Galen knew the only way to truly evade the empire was to disappear. I helped him find the most remote planet Lah’mu where he could live quietly with his wife and daughter. We’d hoped the empire would lose his scent, but from what our intel has gathered, it’s only a matter of time and we need to get them out. We’re preparing to move in the next few hours if you’re ready.”

Cal glanced at Merrin before nodding. “Just tell us when.”

\---

The Mantis was quietly docked within the mountainside landing pad on the base. Cal and Merrin climbed the familiar ramp to their home, both lost in thought. As they expected, both Greez and Cere were off-ship somewhere. BD-1 was charging on his dock in the rear of the ship.

“Come on, let’s get packed,” Cal finally said to break the silence.

“I do not like this mission,” Merrin said flatly.

Cal looked to her, his expression dim. “I know, I can tell,” he said. “Saw left out a lot of details and didn’t give any chance for much questions. Still, if it means helping innocent people escape the empire, I want to help. Plus we owe it to Saw and the rest.”

Merrin sat on the cot, wringing her hands. “Still, I do not know enough about this enemy,” she murmured. “All I have gathered is that they dislike you and your kind and wish you to be dead. This could be… a trap. That inquisitor is still out there, Cal. What if...”

Cal cut her off. “I can’t be the only target of the empire,” he replied reassuringly. “Jedi were the peacekeepers, but there were others who disliked what was happening in the galaxy. When I was on Bracca, hiding, I met an Abednedo male named Prauf. He had been a scrapper his entire life, and nothing more, and he so disliked the empire that he let himself speak out against it in the presence of an inquisitor.” He caught himself for a moment, the memory flooding back. “He… was executed immediately.”

Merrin looked to her feet. “As we all could be,” she said softly. “I want to fight, but I also wish to live. I am the last of my kind, what if… I…” she couldn’t finish the thought. 

“I know,” Cal said sadly. He felt tears threatening to fall from his tired eyes. The memory of watching Prauf die, the similar execution of Kordra, all of it. “I know.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still here, I promise. A few of you have been commenting still, which I so appreciate. I have the entire story mapped in my head, it's just hard to sit down and write right now. The last few months have been so challenging to me and my family, all I've felt like doing is watching movies/tv shows and playing video games to bury my thoughts. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. I know this insanity will end, but when? Sidenote, I hardly proof-read this after writing. Just enjoy the story.


	8. Extraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aye! Change of plans, we leave NOW!” 
> 
> al woke with a start and held up his comm. “Now?” he asked in a half-sleepy voice. BD-1 chirped from the corner, clearly upset at the interruption.
> 
> “Empire found ‘em, we gotta move!” came the crackly voice. The commlink then shut off.

“Aye! Change of plans, we leave NOW!” 

Cal woke with a start and held up his comm. “Now?” he asked in a half-sleepy voice. BD-1 chirped from the corner, clearly upset at the interruption.

“Empire found ‘em, we gotta move!” came the crackly voice. The commlink then shut off.

Adrenaline overtook fatigue as Cal pulled his trousers on over his shorts, then grabbed his dark blue poncho so that he could easily hide his saber clipped to his belt. He was rummaging for his boots when Merrin entered his quarters unannounced. 

“Ready?” she asked breathlessly. Her hair had been hastily combed and braided, a new look that Cal had never seen. He smiled slightly.

“Yeah, just need to pull my boots on.”

“Got your saber?” a yawning Cere said from behind Merrin. She and Greez were staying behind so that they could take the Mantis for a separate mission for the group.

Cal nodded. “Merrin, did you get a blaster yet?”

“I do, yes,” Merrin replied, motioning to her pack. “I still cannot figure out how to assemble this belt and holster. You will need to assist me.”

Heat rose to Cal’s cheeks and he grinned. “Of course.”

The launch bay was buzzing with activity. 

“You two, over here,” a commander called to the pair. He held a datapad and was busy pointing people to their correct shuttles, his un-clipped helmet almost falling off with each hasty command.

“We have four ships leaving, you will be on the main pickup vessel,” the man said breathlessly to Cal and Merrin. “You’re part of the extraction crew, Saw’s orders.”

“What are the other ships?” Merrin asked.

“Two ships are for possible distraction if needed, and one is firepower. Your ship is there,” the commander gestured to the gray and blue U-Wing only a few feet away. 

Cal offered a hand to Merrin, which she silently accepted. He was feeling very unsure and the pressure from her grasp helped keep him grounded. 

The ship itself was rather plain on the inside, but held about a dozen seats. Cal noted the ship was only half-full, likely because there would be a pickup.

“Welcome aboard, Jedi,” Saw said heartily, his forehead glistening with sweat. “We will be underway in less than five, so you’d better get settled. Your cargo can go here,” he pointed to a latched cabinet along the wall. “And the droid…”

“Stays with me,” Cal said with a raised eyebrow. “He can secure himself to my restraints.”   
  


Saw nodded his approval. He then went to speak with the captain, a surly twi’lek with a heavy accent that Cal could barely understand.

“Cal, if we see the inquisitor…” Merrin started to say quietly.

Cal stopped her by shaking his head. “Let’s just focus on the task at hand.”

The ship lurched as it finally made its way out of the cliffside hideout. It was nighttime on this part of the planet. Saw briefed the small group of freedom fighters during lightspeed. It would be 44 hours before they reached Lah’mu, which was about the time the Empire would also be reaching the planet if they heard correctly. The planet was far off any major hyperspace routes so getting there would be about a dozen series of jumps. According to Saw’s informants, the Empire wasn’t worried about Erso finding out about their finding them, and planned to take their time. This was good news for the partisans. 

Soon it was made clear that not only was there a scientist to rescue, but his wife and child. Cal hadn’t been around children since he had been a padawan at the Jedi temple. The thought of a child in danger renewed his energy for the mission, and seemed to make Merrin more determined than ever. 

Space travel could be terribly boring. At least the partisans had brought good food and good stories. When it was their turn to sleep, Cal and Merrin opted to share a bunk. It was cramped, but the close contact helped both of them get at least some sleep on the journey. Once or twice Cal would wake and find Merrin clinging to him almost like she was afraid to lose him.

Finally, the call came to get to their seats and strap in. Lah’mu was close, and they needed to approach with caution. Communications were scarce while they were in hyperspace. They needed to first drop near the small planet Tertiary Kesmere and monitor Empire comms to see where their fleet was.

Proximity alarms began to squeal just as soon as they exited hyperspace. “They’re already here!” the captain shouted from the cockpit. The ship lurched toward the impending planet while the crew scanned for the aforementioned ship. 

“There, star destroyer,” Saw said, pointing to the ominous vessel closeby. It didn’t appear they had been noticed by the large ship. 

The bay doors on the destroyer opened and a single shuttle departed. Cal had never seen a ship that design. It was all black on the exterior and had triangular qualities. 

“Krennic,” Saw said angrily. “He’s the pickup party, of course.”

“Who is this Krennic?” Merrin asked. 

“Director Krennic to be more precise. He’s building some sort of weapon, the weapon that will use the crystals. What I don’t know is what the purpose of the weapon is. We needed to keep Galen Erso out of his reach else the project will unfortunately be completed,” Saw replied. He turned his attention to the cockpit. “We need to land out of sight of the homestead. Do you have the backup coordinates?”

The twi’lek pilot nodded and began moving the ship. Lah’mu had a large ring around it’s black surface, making the planet look almost dead.

“What now?” one of the soldiers asked. 

“We still go to the extraction point,” Saw said, pulling out a holodisk and illuminating the cabin. A small red dot was visible in the blue of the planet’s surface. “Hidden in the mountains is a bunker. If Krennic makes it to the home before the family can hide, we will have lost Galen. For now.”

Cal thought about the child they would be rescuing. He’d seen how savage the Empire was to anyone that got in their way, regardless of age. He subconsciously began to rub his neck while he thought.

Merrin put a hand on Cal’s shoulder, snapping him out of his trance. BD-1 was also humming in his ear, trying to remind him he was still there.

“Imperial comms indicate the landing party has arrived,” one of the other men said, pulling off his headset. “And they’ve made contact with Galen Erso. We’re too late.”

It felt like the air had rushed out of the cabin. The silence that took over while the ship landed far off the mark on Lah’mu was almost deafening.

“We still have a job to do,” Saw reminded the crew. He immediately disembarked the ship and motioned for the others to follow. “We rescue the wife and child, then we find out where Galen is being taken. The recon team will already be monitoring the situation. Let’s move.”

The planet was damp, reminding Cal of Bracca. Merrin adjusted her gun belt as they walked. She pulled up her hood, hiding her silvery hair. They hiked for what felt like an hour, stopping every so often to listen to communications. It seemed like troopers were searching for the fugitives, but only would mention the child. 

Their decoy ships remained in orbit under cloaking measures. Their armed ship had landed near theirs and already Cal could see snipers taking position in the hills while the search party moved onward.

“Come, just around this hill,” Saw instructed. 

Then, he saw them. Black armored troopers carrying the worst looking blasters Cal had ever seen. They were extremely tall and terrifying. He felt for his saber at his hip, his instincts to run trying to overtake his senses. 

“Death troopers,” one of their comrades remarked, pulling his blaster from his holster “Awful machines, they are. They only protect the most important people in the Empire, and they do a damn good job at it.”

“We gotta let them get out of sight, or they’ll see us with those thermal sensors in their helmets,” Saw breathed. “They gotta get off-planet before we can go for the bunker or we’re all dead.” He motioned for everyone to get down. 

Cal sunk deeper into the black soil, BD-1 still clinging loyally to his back. Merrin sat beside him, her knees drawn to her chest. She had her eyes closed and her lips were silently moving, almost as though in prayer. Once or twice it seemed like the group of troopers were looking right at them, but soon they moved on, obviously still searching for their prey. 

Finally Saw gave the signal; the extraction could begin. As the group made their way to the damp cave, Cal felt a small ripple through the force. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but it had a comforting tone so he chose to embrace it.

Saw approached an unremarkable rock. He looked back at his small group before grabbing the base of the rock and lifting. A hidden hatched opened up and he looked down inside. 

“My child,” he called, his voice cracking slightly. Cal and the others knew immediately that the child was alone. Either the mother was taken along with Galen or…

“Come, come,” Saw said softly as he gestured over the hole. “We have a long ride ahead of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Thanks for sticking with me through all this business, and thank you to those who keep leaving me lovely comments. Ya'll make me so happy. :)


	9. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We will protect you, Jyn,” Merrin said, holding out a hand. “I am a nightsister, and you are now my sister. We will be strong together, okay?”
> 
> Jyn reached out and took Merrin’s hand, holding tight. Cal watched the exchange, a warmth filling his chest.

Cal watched as a small head appeared at the opening of the hole. Merrin exhaled loudly next to him, like she’d been holding her breath.

A small brown haired girl, carrying a backpack much too big for her, scrambled over the lip of the shaft. She stood awkwardly, not saying a word. Saw knelt in front of her. 

“Where is Lyra?” he asked delicately. 

The girl didn’t respond, she only stared down at her dirty and worn shoes. Cal noticed a steady trickle of tears falling to the dirt. 

Saw straightened himself, then turned to his small group. “Jedi, nightsister, you go with these two,” he gestured to the two snipers that had joined them in the cave, “...and scout the area. We can’t leave the planet until Krennic is gone. We will be easily noticed otherwise and we do not have the fuel to make half a rotation again.”

The small team nodded. Cal allowed the two partisans to take the lead as they left the cave. 

Outside was quiet. The silence was almost unbearable, the weight of their partially failed mission crushing them all. They walked for what felt like hours until coming upon a homestead. No ships, no deathtroopers, no Galen Erso. Still, they approached the home. Once again the partisans took the lead, Cal and Merrin trailing behind.

“Wait, look,” Merrin gestured to some disturbed earth. The partisans looked back, and Merrin waived them on. “We will stay out here and keep watch,” she said. 

At first he didn’t see it, but then a glint of metal caught his gaze. A blaster. “There must have been a scuffle,” Cal said, reaching for the weapon.

“Cal WAIT,” Merrin shouted, reaching for Cal’s arm.

She wasn’t fast enough. Cal had grabbed the blaster with his ungloved hand without thinking. His mind was immediately clouded, pain enveloping his senses. Darkness overtook and brought him to his knees.

_ “YOU WILL NEVER WIN,” a voice spat, a female voice. Cal tried to see her face, but all he saw was shadows. _

_ “Do it,” a calm calculated voice replied almost immediately. _

_ A grunt, the shadow falling, then another shout. “LYRA,” a hoarse, desperate voice cried out.  _

“Come back to me, Cal,” a soft voice called through the pain, working its way through the haze. “Come on.”

He was slumped forward, his forehead buried in Merrin’s shoulder. She held him tightly, whispering encouragement for both him and herself. 

“Cal?” Merrin asked, pulling his head off of her so that she could see his ashen face. “Are you alright?”

He’d finally stopped shaking. “Y-yes, I’m so sorry. I’m so… stupid,” Cal said breathlessly. He noticed the discarded blaster next to Merrin. BD-1 was prancing around nervously. “I don’t know… why.”

“What was it?” Merrin asked.

“The echo… it was the girl’s… mother,” Cal replied, tears threatening to fall, bile rising in his throat. “I… she was gunned down by a deathtrooper at the command of Krennic, the man Saw keeps talking about. And Erso, he was there, he had to watch… his wife...”

  
Merrin looked away for a moment, processing. Cal knew she was haunted by her own history, suffering a similar fate. “I’m sorry,” Cal added.

“Why do you apologize?” Merrin asked, looking back at him with unease. “Now… now we know. We should go tell the others.”

Cal nodded and stood, offering a hand to the nightsister. As she straightened herself, the other two partisans were returning to them from the homestead.

“Empty,” one of them reported forlornly. “Ransacked, and burned.”

The U-wing was waiting for the small party. It had begun to rain as they trudged through dark mud and richly green grasses. Merrin and Cal boarded the ship, exhausted from the day. Huddled in the corner was the young girl. She’d wrapped herself in a blanket and kept her head down. 

Merrin approached the child and sat on the seat next to her. “Are you ready to fly?” she asked softly.

The girl peered over her knees at the nightsister, curiosity glinting in her soft brown eyes. She nodded, not looking away. 

“I am Merrin, what is your name?” 

The girl pulled her blanket tighter around her. “Jyn,” she whispered. 

“We will protect you, Jyn,” Merrin said, holding out a hand. “I am a nightsister, and you are now my sister. We will be strong together, okay?”

Jyn reached out and took Merrin’s hand, holding tight. Cal watched the exchange, a warmth filling his chest.

\---

Lah’mu was so far off of hyperspace routes, they’d depleted more than half their fuel reserves. “We must refuel before we return to the base,” the pilot announced as the ship left the atmosphere of Lah’mu. “There is no fuel here, we will stop on Taris before making our way to Teth.”

Cal tried to relax. The thought of making a pitstop actually scared him, and Merrin shared his fears. Taris was a polarizing planet that was loosely under empire control. While there were rebellion sympathizers, it was not a safe place for a Jedi on the run.

“We will remain on the ship,” Merrin said. “How long can a refueling take?”

Cal silently agreed. Still, he had a bad feeling about this. He wondered if it was remnants of the echo that he'd experienced on Lah'mu.

Soon they landed in a densely polluted area on Taris. The planet was littered with ship parts and repurposed shipping containers made to be buildings. They were in one of the poorer districts of the capital city. 

“Jyn, come with me,” Saw said, holding a hand to the child. “We must find something you will eat.”

The child had been silent and refused to consume any of the rations they had. Cal couldn’t blame her, they tasted horrid. She likely also didn’t want to eat due to emotions, but Saw knew she’d need something in her stomach soon or she’d be sick. 

Cal noted that Saw didn’t seem like the caring fatherly type on the outside. He wondered just what part of Saw’s history had made him know how to be gentle to this young girl while still leading a large band of rebels.

“Jedi, we will return,” Saw called to Cal. 

The feeling of unease wouldn’t leave, even as the hatch was closed. The other partisans had chosen to leave the U Wing in order to help fuel the ship and resupply rations. Merrin sat beside Cal, running her long fingers through his red hair while he leaned forward deep in thought, his elbows resting on his knees. 

“How long can this take?” he asked. BD-1 had parked himself on Cal’s shoulder, a slight hum coming from the tiny droid.

“Long enough to make you panic,” Merrin replied with a slight hum, her fingers working slowly. “We will be underway soon, it will be okay.”

Still, something didn’t feel right. Like lightning, the hairs stood on the back of his neck and he got to his feet quickly. Merrin shot up just as fast. 

“I felt it too,” she said breathlessly. They dashed out the hatch onto the landing platform. Without thinking, Cal force-pushed the busy pilot several feet forward. A blaster bolt struck the exact spot he had been standing.

“Sniper attack!” Cal called around him.

The pilot and other partisans made for the ship, the fueling nearly complete. Saw had returned with Jyn and was running her up the ramp breathlessly. Soon more blaster fire rained down on the group. 

“What do we do?” Merrin asked, her hands glowing green. The shots were now aimed at fuel canisters near the ship and she’d been deflecting as best she could.

Cal reached for his blaster, his lightsaber still clipped to his belt. It was simply too risky to bring it out into the open. The snipers seemed to be after the rebels, not a Jedi. “BD-1, keep your head down,” Cal instructed his companion.

“Kestis, get on the ship!” Saw called from the top of the ramp. 

  
Cal blasted two men who’d emerged from the buildings nearby before they would shoot the group. 

“You won’t make it off planet,” Cal called back. “You have to go!” 

Merrin gave Cal a fearful but understanding look. She turned to the ship and motioned for Saw to leave. 

“Protect him,” Saw called to the nightsister as the ship began to raise from the ground. 

“You have my word,” Merrin shouted back. She turned and chanted loudly, sending large green balls of fire toward advancing mercenaries. 

Cal recognized the dress on the attackers and his fears grew ten times. Haxion Brood, the same bounty hunters that had kidnapped him and brought him to Sorc Tormo. 

“We need to guide them away from the ship while it’s still taking off,” Cal shouted, taking Merrin’s hand. His head was spinning with possibilities. Had they come for him or the partisans? Did they already recognize him? How would they escape this time? “Come on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me, full of sadness and angst at the world still. Have another small chapter. <3


	10. Bounties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They found a terminal and BD-1 got to work. “Looks like it’s a laser gate,” Cal huffed as the droid began to project information. “That makes things tricky. We can’t slip through. Maybe we could… wait!”
> 
> Something was coming. Everything that happened next was extremely slowed down as Cal reacted. He turned and faced Merrin, her face changing from concern to fear as he moved to grab her and pull her down. As he did a sharp green blast flew over her head and hit the terminal that BD-1 was plugged into.
> 
> “BWWAAAA” the droid screamed. The jolt was overloading his circuits.

He hated running for his life. Hated the adrenaline, hated the heavy breathing, the mental anguish, the uncertainty. At least he had Merrin beside him, her even panting as they slipped deeper into the dirty city. The skyline of this particular city reminded Cal of Coruscant, except a lot of buildings seemed to be made out of repurposed shipping containers and other ship parts. 

Shots rang out behind them, barely missing their targets. At least they’d drawn them away from the partisans. Cal wished he could hail Saw and make sure they’d made it away, but communicators had been omitted on this mission due to security. Instead they’d find their way back to Teth as soon as they could. As to how they would do that, Cal had no idea. 

It had begun to rain. The already smelly air was now permeated with sewage odors and felt sticky. The shots and shouting began to sound farther away behind them. The pair finally dove into an open alcove and scurried underneath a parked speeder to catch their breath.

“What now?” Merrin asked between breaths. 

Cal laid on his back, his eyes closed while he breathed. BD-1 sat on Cal’s chest, waiting patiently. Night was starting to fall. “No provisions, no communication, very few weapons. I think we just keep running while we figure out if they are chasing us because of who we are or who we were with.”

Merrin huffed. “Either way, they will kill us.”

“Affirmative, which is why I decided we will run. I’m sorry I don’t have a better plan.”

Merrin reached over and took Cal’s hand. He jumped slightly and opened his eyes. She was looking at him fondly. “As long as we are together, it’s a good plan. We will make it,” she said reassuringly.

Cal gave her hand a squeeze and she squeezed it back.

They stayed alert while they rested, opting to wait for full darkness before venturing out. Bounty hunters don’t give up easily, Cal knew. He’d run into them more than once in his lifetime. Their other issue was that Taris was an outer-rim planet, which meant the hunters would have an easier time tracking them without any interruption.

After a short time the sun had gone down, plunging them further into darkness. Cal offered Merrin a hand to help her stand. They rifled through the still-parked speeder and found a cloak that Merrin could use to cover her silvery hair and also protect her a bit better from the rain. Cal removed his poncho and turned it inside out, revealing a dark brown instead of blue. It would have to do.

“If we can find a shipyard we could hopefully barter passage off the planet,” Cal thought out loud. They crept along the semi deserted streets of the city. “We just need a port for beedee to plug into.” The droid perked up on his back, obviously pleased to be part of things. 

“Look, here,” Merrin pointed to a power pole, a terminal at its base. The droid scurried off of his companion’s back and went to plug in. Cal knelt next to the droid while Merrin kept watch. 

“What’ve you got, buddy?” Cal asked the busy droid.

“Bweep boop!” BD-1 unplugged and displayed a holomap on the ground for Cal to examine. 

“I’m not seeing a ship port besides the one we landed on,” Cal mused. “Of course. Hold on, there’s a transport shuttle station that could get us to another city nearby. Beedee, do you have the map for that town?”

“Boop boop,” the droid replied. 

“Of course. It’s okay, if we can get there we can download those schematics. Great work, buddy,” Cal said, offering his arm to the droid to climb.

“So, to the station?” Merrin asked, pulling her rain-soaked cloak a little tiger over her head.

“Looks like it,” Cal replied.

Fatigue and hunger gnawed at both of them while they traveled to the shuttle depot. Cal knew they’d have to lie their way onto the craft, likely by using his Jedi powers. He hadn’t done a mindtrick in a long time and doubted his own ability. It was likely their only option.

“Hey, off-worlder,” a sultry voice called to them. A scantily clad theelin was motioning to them from a doorway. “Need a place to sleep?” she purred.

Cal shot Merrin an amused look. “No, thank you,” he said politely.

“What did she mean?” Merrin asked, putting a hand on his arm as they walked.

Cal shrugged. “I think… she wanted credits for pleasure,” he said, trying to explain as plainly as possible. He himself was surprised that he knew what she was. The clones that he’d grown up around had taught him some things that the Jedi order had not.

“She wanted to lay with you?” Merrin asked, mouth agape. Cal could tell she was struggling with the information.

“Not because she likes me,” Cal reassured her. “She wanted to make money, that’s all. And I wouldn’t, even if I had money. I promise.” His cheeks suddenly felt hot.

Merrin looked thoughtful. She kept opening her mouth to say something but then would close it, still mulling things over. Cal felt a little bashful suddenly, wishing he could read her thoughts. Instead, she resorted to laying her head on his shoulder while they kept pace with each other. 

It felt like they’d walked for ages before reaching their destination. “Look, there,” Merrin pointed to the dimly lit shuttle station. The sun was beginning to rise, making it harder to keep people from staring at the off-worlders that wandered the streets. Vendors began to populate the street near the depot, drawing more crowds. 

The ticket kiosk was manned by a silver protocol droid. This didn’t bode well for Cal’s original plan.

“How much for a shuttle to the next town over?” Cal asked. 

“Ten credits per passenger,” the droid responded dully.

Cal turned and looked at Merrin. “Out of luck,” he said, leading her away.

“What now?” Merrin asked. “Can we find a way to get on board still? Maybe find some credits?”   
  
Cal doubted the security at the facility. He began to search for a port for BD-1. “If we can figure out what we’re up against, it might be as easy as jumping over the turnstile.”

“What is…a turnstile…” Merrin asked.

“Uhh… right, it’s a gate,” Cal replied with a half-smile. Merrin was always asking questions, having spent her entire life on Dathomir before meeting Cal. He enjoyed helping her learn. Some things seemed to overwhelm her while she tried to commit things to memory. He always reassured her it was okay not to know something. He himself knew next to nothing compared to how large the galaxy was.

They found a terminal and BD-1 got to work. “Looks like it’s a laser gate,” Cal huffed as the droid began to project information. “That makes things tricky. We can’t slip through. Maybe we could… wait!”

Something was coming. Everything that happened next was extremely slowed down as Cal reacted. He turned and faced Merrin, her face changing from concern to fear as he moved to grab her and pull her down. As he did a sharp green blast flew over her head and hit the terminal that BD-1 was plugged into.

“BWWAAAA” the droid screamed. The jolt was overloading his circuits.

“Beedee!” Cal shouted. Knowing he’d be shocked too if he touched the droid, he instead reached out with the force and pulled the droid from the socket.

“Jedi!” an angry shout rang out. 

Merrin hoisted Cal to his feet by his elbow. He still cradled the unresponsive droid. Three menacing hunters dressed in dark dusters and armor stood before them, their weapons raised. 

“We thought we were after a rebel,” the male Duro growled, straightening his wide-brimmed hat. “Turns out we found an even bigger bounty.”

“Back off,” Cal snarled. He tucked BD-1 under one arm and put his other hand on the hilt of his saber. Several onlookers were starting to gather, making it hard to decide just how to react.

“Dead or alive,” the filthy human next to the Duro chimed in. He took aim at Cal. “If he survived this long, dead is probably better for travel.”

Merrin stepped between Cal and the hunters. “Walk away,” she barked, raising her hands threateningly. 

“We have no quarrel with you now, young lady,” the Duro spat.

Not wanting to find out who would shoot first, Merrin began her chant. Green glowed from her hands and eyes, and the three hunters were raised from the ground, their weapons flattering to the wet pavement.

“Witch!” the third hunter finally choked out. 

The three men were twisted and contorted, strange sounds coming from their mouths. Merrin moved her fingers, the bodies starting to fold backward. 

“Merrin, don’t,” Cal pleaded behind her. “No death, please.”

The nightsister nodded curtly, throwing her hands forward instead. The hunters tumbling into the crowd. Several people screamed from the impact of the bodies. 

Merrin turned and grabbed Cal’s free hand, guiding him away from the mess. BD-1 remained silent. Cal tried not to assume the worst about his droid friend and focused on getting away. The posse would be after them soon, especially now that they knew who they were really after.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Guys I'm still so sorry about how short the chapters are. Ever since the pandemic started I've been easily overwhelmed and burned out and if I keep writing when I've lost steam it starts to SUCK.


	11. The Marshes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You disgusting welp,” the ninth sister growled, rage burning in her eyes. “You can’t run from me forever!”
> 
> Cal kept her at bay with his saber and tried to force push her with his free hand. She countered the attack, then grabbed his outstretched hand and bent his wrist backward.
> 
> Merrin watched in horror as his left arm bent unnaturally. He still managed to keep his blade matched to hers, but only briefly. She pushed him down and bore down her saber at his head. He moved, but only enough to avoid decapitation. Instead, the weapon plunged into his shoulder.

“Stop them!” the hunters shouted down the waterlogged streets. 

Cal and Merrin pushed themselves between ogling bystanders as they worked to get away. As they hurried, BD-1 began to power back on. Relief flooded over Cal and he pushed his sopping wet hair out of his eyes for the millionth time.

“Hey, bud. Welcome back,” he panted, helping the droid to his back. 

“We have to find cover, they will have already contacted the inquisitor,” Merrin breathed. “She cannot find you again.”

Running on dirty wet pavement was proving treacherous with both of them losing their footing every so often. Shouts could be heard behind them. A bolt of blaster fire hit near them, sending sparks onto the street.

“We need to draw them away from the city, away from the people,” Cal said, thinking out loud.

BD-1 chirped loudly, trying to get Cal’s attention.

“What is he saying?” Merrin asked.

“He says there’s a speeder depot nearby. He must have been able to take a map reading before getting fried. Turn this way!” he grabbed Merrin’s hand and steered her down a more populated street. 

“Bweeoop!” BD-1 commanded. Cal and Merrin stopped in front of what looked like a deserted parking garage. 

“Can you hot wire one for us?” Cal asked. The small droid beeped back enthusiastically.

Soon they were whizzing down the street and away from their enemy. Cal drove while Merrin kept watch behind them. They began to relax once they got to the edge of the industrial city without incident. The rain had stopped, but the musty smell in the air remained. Soon buildings gave way to swampland and small huts.

Cal maneuvered the open-air speeder behind what looked like an abandoned factory on the edge of a murky lake. Powering down the craft, he sat back and covered his tired eyes with his hands. 

Merrin slumped down in her seat and looked at her companion. “What should we do now?” she asked.

“I don’t know. We’ve got huge targets on our backs now, no way off this planet, Cere and Greez likely don’t know yet that we’ve been stranded, Saw and that youngling Jyn are also being chased by these thugs,” he put his hands down and looked to the nightsister. “I don’t like our odds.”

Merrin put a hand on Cal’s shoulder and pulled him to her, resting his head on her own shoulder. They sat in silence for a moment, gathering their thoughts. They took solace in each other’s company, the momentary peace helping them remain calm.

“Cal, you… are a fugitive, as a Jedi… but not for the reason that Nightsisters dislike them. What did the Jedi do to be marked as the enemy?” Merrin asked softly.

“Nothing,” Cal replied quickly. “Well… nothing that I know of... I was very young when it happened. It was all very sudden, and I still don’t have all the answers. The soldiers that we worked with… the clones… they turned on us, all of them, without mercy. It almost felt robotic. Cere had the same experience.”

“The clones that stood beside you,” Merrin said quietly. Cal nodded, unwilling to say more.

“We should keep moving,” Merrin finally said. “I think… if we can get to the next city we should have good enough cover and can find a way off the planet, or at least a way to contact the Mantis.” 

Cal sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah,” he replied. He started up their speeder again and moved back on to the main road.

It would be several more hours until daylight but Cal didn’t dare turn on the headlights. Instead he let the light of the planet’s moon illuminate the road. 

“If we have to we can stow on board some sort of freighter to get off of Teris,” Cal said. “Whatever happens, we can’t stay on this planet for long. Those hunters, they either work for Sorc Tormo or they were hired by the Empire since they were after Saw.”

A roar from above made Cal hit the breaks. Descending upon them was an imperial shuttle, it’s weapons engaged. 

“Empire!” Merrin yelled, drawing her blaster.

Cal swung the speeder around and hit the accelerator. Angry red blasterfire hit the terrain around them. 

“We can’t outrun a ship,” Cal yelled to Merrin. “We need an alternative!”

“Can a speeder go over the marshes?” Merrin asked, firing several futile shots at their pursuer.

“Time to find out!”

The speeder lurched and whined when Cal took a hard turn and began speeding over the muddy ground. He opted to switch the lights on since they’d already been discovered. Just as he did so, there was a cliff mere feet in front of them, and he hit the brakes hard, turning as hard as he could. Merrin caught herself before hitting the dash, and BD-1 flew off of Cal’s shoulder onto the floor of the craft. Soon they zipped along the edge of the chasm, a dark foreboding lake churning below.

The shuttle was still after them, and was soon near enough to drop it’s ramp, revealing the ninth sister. She raised her red blade and jumped at them, landing with a crunch on the hood of the speeder. Cal met her blade with his, taking both hands off the controls and stepping on to the front of the speeder. Merrin leapt over to the driver seat and took over, attempting to turn away from the cliff. The still-persuing shuttle fired more blasts near them, forcing her to keep the same course. 

“You disgusting welp,” the ninth sister growled, rage burning in her eyes. “You can’t run from me forever!”

Cal kept her at bay with his saber and tried to force push her with his free hand. She countered the attack, then grabbed his outstretched hand and bent his wrist backward.

Merrin watched in horror as his left arm bent unnaturally. He still managed to keep his blade matched to hers, but only briefly. She pushed him down and bore down her saber at his head. He moved, but only enough to avoid decapitation. Instead, the weapon plunged into his shoulder.

“GRAAAHHH,” Cal cried out, dropping his own saber onto the passenger seat of the speeder. Merrin quickly calculated her options, and grabbed the dropped lightsaber and clipped it to her belt. “Beedee, hang on to me!” she yelled. 

The inquisitor pulled her saber back and grabbed the barely-conscious Cal by the throat. “Maybe I’ll take you alive, just long enough to TORTURE you like the rest of us,” she growled. She released her grip and raised her saber again.

“CAL!” Merrin reached over the dash and grabbed him by his poncho, slamming on the brakes of the speeder at the same time. The inquisitor flew off the front, almost taking Cal with her, but Merrin held on tight to the fabric. She then yanked him back into the speeder and put the craft into reverse to throw off the shuttle.

Cal’s face was more pale than usual as he gripped his shoulder with his good hand. Merrin was afraid to flip the speeder around in case they went over the cliff. However, her fears were still realized as the shuttle took aim at the ground near them, and fired several shots. The force of the blast sent their speeder reeling, and flipped them over the cliff toward the waters several dozen feet below. As they fell, BD-1 held tight to Merrin as she held Cal to her and braced for the plunge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me, still writing just very very slowly because of life. Thanks for sticking around. :)


	12. Daryn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whomever was aboard the ship began to shout, and the craft was almost on top of them. Merrin kept pulling with all her might, desperately trying to keep Cal’s head above water. He’d finally succumbed unconsciousness. 
> 
> “Please!” Merrin pleaded, nearly losing her grip on her Jedi. 
> 
> A strong hand reached down and grabbed Cal by the scruff of his tunic, hauling him upward. Merrin faltered in the water, a wave washing over her. She panicked, but then the same strong hand reached for her and she reached back out gratefully.
> 
> Coughing and panting, Merrin collapsed next to Cal. She wrapped an arm around his torso and buried her face in his side. He was breathing, which was all the reassurance she needed.

Hitting ice cold water was jarring enough to sharpen Cal’s senses. He involuntarily took a breath but was met with pain and dizziness as he and Merrin were still under the water. She held tightly to him, her grip reassuring. They both kicked upward without knowing how far the surface actually was.

Merrin’s head broke through first and she hauled the sluggish Cal up after her. “Cal… Cal, are you okay?” she sputtered. She could barely see the outline of his head in the darkness and she didn’t dare use her Magick to help them stay afloat since the bright green glow would attract attention.

Cal coughed a few times, his breathing raspy from taking in water. “Enough,” he managed to say. He tried to tread water but could only use his right arm. “Where’s... beedee?” 

“On my back, he’s okay,” Merrin reassured. “And your saber is attached to my belt.” It was difficult to keep her head above water while also holding on to Cal. Due to the recent storm and wind the water was choppy and difficult to maneuver.

  
“I feel really heavy,” Cal said, his voice sounding far away. 

“You’re wearing a thick poncho, it’s dragging you down,” Merrin said desperately. “We need to get it off of you.”

“Mmhmph…” Cal could barely respond, pain and cold were taking its toll. Merrin began to tear at the fabric, ripping what she hoped was the poncho and not Cal’s tunic. BD-1 provided an extremely dim spotlight from his perch on her shoulder as she worked. Her hands were beginning to tingle and numb. 

“Got it.” Merrin pulled the heavy fabric away and allowed it to sink. She then wrapped one arm around Cal’s thin frame. “We need… to find… the… cliff,” she shivered. She and Cal kept dipping beneath the surface. BD-1 would trill with concern each time.

“We… are… dead,” Cal replied. He could barely breathe.

Merrin wanted to agree. She wanted to let go and sink beneath the surface. However, their small droid companion wouldn’t let them rest as they both tried to get their bearings.

A terrifying sound met their ears. “Empire…” Cal groaned. 

“Spotlight… we need to go under,” Merrin said through gritted teeth. “Ready?”

Cal nodded and BD-1 shut off his small light. Merrin wrapped her other arm around Cal so that they faced each other. “Deep breath,” she whispered. Then, they sank.

They both looked up as the spotlight gleamed in the water where they had been visible before. It hovered a bit longer than Cal would have liked and he felt his lungs burning in protest. Finally the light moved on and they made their way back to the surface. 

“It’s.. warmer.. under there…” Merrin spat. She pulled Cal close again, making sure not to disturb his injured arm and shoulder. “What now?”

Cal didn’t answer. He had to focus extremely hard just to keep his feet kicking and his head above water. Merrin kept her hold on him as well as she could but her hands were almost completely numb.

A small light was barely visible in the distance. BD-1 noticed it first. “Bwewoop! Bwoop!” the small droid trilled. 

“B… boat?” Cal muttered. He looked in the direction that the droid was gesturing and noticed the light. “Beedee, can... you get a scan from... here?” He was seriously considering taking a nap at that moment.

“Beep boop bweeeee,” BD-1 responded.

“One… life form,” Cal translated for Merrin. “We have to… t-try.”

“It could be them,” Merrin insisted. 

“Or w-we could drown,” Cal reminded her.

Merrin took a deep breath and began pushing toward the light, Cal in tow. He did his best to help with the swimming efforts. 

The watercraft was getting closer, its spotlight hovering in the waters. BD-1 began shining his beacon at the boat to get its attention. Soon the spotlight was on them, blinding both Cal and Merrin for a moment. 

Whomever was aboard the ship began to shout, and the craft was almost on top of them. Merrin kept pulling with all her might, desperately trying to keep Cal’s head above water. He’d finally succumbed unconsciousness. 

“Please!” Merrin pleaded, nearly losing her grip on her Jedi. 

A strong hand reached down and grabbed Cal by the scruff of his tunic, hauling him upward. Merrin faltered in the water, a wave washing over her. She panicked, but then the same strong hand reached for her and she reached back out gratefully.

Coughing and panting, Merrin collapsed next to Cal. She wrapped an arm around his torso and buried her face in his side. He was breathing, which was all the reassurance she needed.

“Stay low,” a kind voice commanded. “The patrol is still searching the waters.” 

Merrin looked up at the man, hoping to see his face. However, the darkness kept his features in shadow, and he wore a wide-brimmed hat for the drizzling rain. Still, she nodded and lay still, BD-1 curled up between her and the motionless Cal. The man then draped a tarp over them. 

The boat was definitely an older skiff, its floor made of wood instead of durasteel. Merrin wondered if Taris had a fishing operation or if this man was after something else. She heard the roar of the inquisitor’s shuttle again. Instinctively she clung tighter to Cal, making sure his lightsaber was hidden in the folds of her tunic.

Finally the hovering ship was gone. Merrin, Cal, and BD-1 were uncovered and Merrin sat up. The man held a small lantern and she could finally see his face. “Th..thank you,” she stuttered to him. She began to stand.

“Please, you’ve been through Hell,” the man replied warmly. “Let’s get you back to shore.”

The rickety craft had a surprising amount of speed. BD-1 kept close to his human companions during the ride, his small metal feet holding on to Merrin’s sleeve. Finally they neared a dock, its small red sensor lights blinking at odd intervals. Their rescuer maneuvered the boat into a locking mechanism and it was then that Merrin noticed the cargo; ship parts. 

“You do not fish,” she said matter-of-factly.

“In a way,” the man responded as he lowered a ramp to the dock. “I fish for broken ship parts that have fallen into the waters. Scrap metal, it brings enough money to survive.”

Merrin shakily got to her feet. The man knelt next to Cal and gathered him in his arms. His movements were effortless, his demeanor never changing from light concern as he led Merrin off the boat and down a small paved lane through the swamplands that bordered the lake.

A small cabin appeared almost out of nowhere. Merrin knew this man was hiding with purpose based on its design. Most of the building was hidden in a hill, concealing all aspects except for a door and window. Inside it was warm and inviting, a small glowing furnace in the corner. Merrin slumped down next to the heatsource and warmed her hands. She watched as the man lay Cal on a cot on the other side of the small room.

Without missing a beat, the man began to brew a warm drink. He hummed softly as he worked, allowing Merrin to gather her thoughts and warm her cold body. BD-1 sat in her crossed legs almost like a small companion animal.

A steaming mug of caf was suddenly in Merrin’s hands and she gratefully took a sip. “You are kind,” she said, pushing a strand of her sopping wet hair out of her face. “You did not have to help us.”

“You two and your droid, you wound up on the Empire’s hit list and I want to know why,” the man responded curtly. “You don't have to tell me who you are, exactly, but I need to know why you were in the middle of that lake half drowned.” He crouched down in front of her, holding his own cup of caf in both hands.

Merrin shifted uncomfortably. She finally got a good look at him. He had darker features, his black hair pulled neatly in a bun at the nape of his neck. He had kind eyes and a square jaw. There was no reason to lie to him, Merrin knew that somehow. His aura was that of a friend. “Yes we were being pursued. We are part of a rebellion,” she responded. “We had rescued a youngling whose father was kidnapped by the Empire.”

The man frowned deeply. Merrin hoped that was enough of the story for him, especially since she was too tired to keep talking. “You are a nightsister,” the man finally said.

Merrin nodded slowly. She expected more questions, but he instead stood and set his drink on a nearby counter. He then moved to examine the still-sleeping Cal. 

Merrin stood and was by his side in a moment, her drink forgotten on the floor. “He was hurt,” she said. BD-1 stood at her feet, unmoving. Cal looked worse than when they’d first arrived, his skin almost white.

“I can see,” the man said, examining Cal’s injured arm. “It’s broken. Also…” his eyes moved to the huge burn on Cal’s shoulder. “That... is a lightsaber injury. Inquisitor?”

Merrin swallowed, her fear mounting. At a loss for words, she stepped between Cal and the man, ready to fight.

“I won’t keep secrets, my name is Daryn,” the man said. He stepped back in an act of solidarity, his hands held up in front of him. “But my birth number is CT-1901. I was a clone trooper in the clone war.”

Merrin couldn’t help it, her eyes were growing wider and wider. From the little bit that Cal had told her of his past traumas, this man was the enemy of the Jedi and Cal was in more danger than she or he had known. “How..?” was all she managed to utter.

Daryn lowered his hands and moved back toward the bunk, searching for something underneath. “Look, your friend will not like that I’m the one that pulled you two from the water but please know, I won’t harm either of you. My loyalty was to the Republic, to those I was tasked to protect, and that included the Jedi.”

Merrin grew defensive, her hands in fists. She wanted to lash out, but she knew she was too weak. “Then what of the betrayal?” she spat, her adrenaline keeping her on her tired feet. “Why were the Jedi branded and murdered?”

“It wasn’t what it seemed, and I’m certain this young man could tell you more than I could. I was part of the 47th legion, a group of troopers that were lost on the planet Zarus for many rotations. We only knew of the order to kill the Jedi because of our general, Ariya Sevstono. Our hands remained clean.” He produced a medkit from under the cot.

“So you did not kill Jedi?” Merrin replied skeptically.

“No, and I would like to believe that I wouldn’t have. I was a medic in my legion, pulling my brothers from death’s heavy grip. Our Jedi leader was incredible, keeping us alive while we were trapped on that god-forsaken planet. When the order came to extinguish the Jedi order, we never heard it, too much electromagnetic interference on the planet. Instead, General Ariya looked into the force and found out what had happened… and why.”

“So why _did_ the clones turn on the Jedi?” Merrin asked, one of her hands finding Cal’s and giving a squeeze for her own reassurance. 

Daryn glanced between them for a moment before setting his kit down and rummaging through it. “There was a plan, something that was put in place well before the Clone War even began. Clones were manufactured for war, and something else was included; an inhibitor chip.”

  
Merrin tried not to look utterly confused, but it was futile. She knew very little outside of her own planet, and the thought of producing sentient beings in a lab-setting was nauseating to her.

“We were programmed to carry out the now-emperor’s bidding by branding all Jedi as traitors and commanding their own army to slaughter them. And he,” Daryn gestured to Cal, “somehow managed to survive. But if he’s going to continue to survive, you’ve got to let me treat him, he’s going into shock and treating a lightsaber wound is no small task.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh so many apologies for keeping you guys waiting. I'm in the middle of selling my house and buying a different one and this process SUCKS my brain is so fried. Anyway, hello. :)


	13. Strength or Carelessness?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I… I hurt you, Merrin I’m so sorry,” Cal wept. He felt weak, his adrenaline beginning to wear off, and he sank to the floor.
> 
> “It’s okay, Cal,” Merrin said gently. She wrapped her arms around Cal’s quaking form, one hand running through his hair to offer reassurance. “It’s okay.”

Merrin watched Daryn work, his steady hands laboring tirelessly to position a medical probe here, a bacta patch there. She offered to assist, but he assured her he would be able to work more quickly on his own. Instead she sat on a small bench near what she presumed to be his dining table and worked to repair Cal’s burned tunic. BD-1 sat on the floor near her as he charged.

The new saber wound didn’t bleed, just like when he had been stabbed by his own saber on Nur. Instead the flesh was burnt to a crisp, the skin around it an angry red. The ninth sister hadn’t forced her blade deep enough for the blade to come out the other side, thankfully. Still, Daryn told Merrin there may be some permanent damage. 

“This here, another lightsaber wound?” he asked, pointing to Cal’s abdomen.

Merrin nodded woefully. “It was his own blade, and it still plagues him.”

“It didn’t get the attention it would have needed to heal properly,” Daryn said, probing the angry flesh. “I can try to help, but it may be futile. The key to healing is timing. It may be painful for the rest of his life.”

Cal was still motionless, his skin a clammy white. Merrin watched his chest rise and fall erratically and prayed to Mother he would be alright. Every so often she’d glance at a security screen near the door. She felt relatively safe in the home of Daryn, but because of how things have gone for her and Cal in the last few months she knew letting her guard down was a bad idea. 

After what felt like hours, Cal was finally stable, his breathing more even and calm. Merrin didn’t realize just how beat up he had gotten until she had watched each wound get treated.

“I fear he will wake and attack you,” Merrin thought out loud. She kept the lightsaber clipped to her own belt. “You do not know what he has been through.” 

Daryn was silent for a moment, steady needle pushing pain medication into Cal’s non-broken arm so that he would rest better. “I’m afraid we all have suffered,” he finally said. He gingerly laid the Jedi’s arm beside him and pulled a blanket over his injured form. 

The weary clone sat beside Merrin at the small table on the far side of the room. “I know of the Nightsisters and their plight. While I never visited your planet, the stories were enough.” He began to refill Merrin’s empty mug. He then handed her a packet of pills. “Take these, your time in the frigid water will have lowered your immune system.”

“The memories still haunt me. Cal has said he suffered something similar, but he has not given me a lot of detail. He lost somebody,” Merrin lamented. She swallowed the two capsules before continuing. “I do not press him for information, but I wish to know. His pain is hard for me to witness.”

“The Jedi were wiped out. A horrible deed carried out unknowingly by the clone army. We were programmed, something implanted in us. He likely witnessed what carried out across the galaxy; one moment the clones fighting beside them, the next… trying to kill them.” Daryn sighed deeply. “The men I served with did not receive the order to kill. Instead we learned of the treachery after we were rescued from a planet we had been trapped on for many rotations. Our general, a jedi, was killed on sight by another Clone legion, it was... horrible. After the war, our legion was broken up. Most were sent to continue to help hunt living Jedi. I could not… I refused. And I ran.”

Merrin stared at the drink in her hands. “It is hard to do good in this galaxy while there is so much evil,” she finally breathed. She had to admit to herself, chasing after the Empire with Cere and Greez was wearing on her. And worse, it kept almost getting her and Cal killed.

“When I served with the Jedi, I witnessed selflessness to an almost flawed degree. As a medic, I saw recklessness in those that put themselves at risk,” Daryn said quietly. He looked over at Cal. “They don’t know when to stop.”

Merrin nodded in agreement. “And he does not take failure very well.” Her eyes were heavy, her body wishing to sleep. She placed her cup back down and reached for Cal’s ruined tunic. “This will have to do,” she said. “I must rest.”

“Indeed. Would you prefer to sleep beside him?” Daryn asked kindly. “I will sleep on this bench.”

It was already her plan. Merrin took another blanket from Daryn and climbed into the small cot beside her sleeping Jedi. She ended up laying under Cal’s blanket and spreading the second blanket over them both. His skin was back to its normal color, at least as far as Merrin could tell in the dim light. She carefully wrapped an arm around his torso and rested her cheek against his arm. The calm she felt being beside him gave her the peace she needed to sleep.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


Cal felt like he was swimming through tar. Everything sounded far away and near at the same time. There was a slight humming, then voices. Both sounded familiar. One was calming and reassuring, the other…

Silence. Cal felt himself drifting back to unconsciousness.

> _ “Cal hurry!” _
> 
> _ The young Cal frantically pressed the buttons to the escape pod while his master stood ground behind him deflecting blaster bolts. The sudden use of his name made his stomach twist. Things seemed dire before, but now… _
> 
> _ Cal looked back just as master Tapal took several blaster bolts to the chest and stomach. “Master!!” he heard himself shout. _
> 
> _ Clones continued to fire, continued to shout and yell commands to kill the Jedi.  _
> 
> _ Jaro Tapal used his last bit of strength to lift the remaining clones to the ceiling before dropping them to the floor. The act was futile, more clone troopers flooded the passage and fired upon the Jedi master. Cal watched the heavily injured lasat stumble backward into the escape pod. _

“NO!!” Cal heard himself shout. The pain, the anger, it felt like he was being stabbed a million times over. He’d heard the voice, the familiar voice that had ordered his execution.

Somebody was holding him down. He thrashed out, trying to find his weapon to defend himself. He needed to escape, they’d found him.

He pushed out with the force. He heard bodies fall and items crumble. He frantically looked around the dark room. He felt trapped, alone. No lightsaber hung from his belt, making him more vulnerable.

“Cal, stop!” a voice finally broke through the wall of pain and fear. Not the voice from before, one he needed. Still, he couldn’t stop or he would be killed.

He couldn’t speak, his fears buzzing through his mind in double-time. He found a door and reached out, forcing the old metal to slide to the side. He ran, but was stopped. Something held to his legs and he came crashing to the ground.

Hands held his struggling form. He lashed out, punching the figure on top of him. They didn’t relent. 

His eyes began to focus through the fog. A man was in the far corner, his hands raised in defense as he waited to see what Cal would do next. 

_ Commander _ . “Traitor!” Cal spat. He tried to lunge but another body held him down firm. 

“Cal stop, please!”

Cal froze, his heart beating out of his chest. Memories came rushing back. He wasn’t in an escape pod, he wasn’t a padawan anymore. He focused on the pleading face before him, one of her eyes now swollen and black. Blood poured down her face from a gash somewhere buried in her hair. “M-Merrin,” he said, a sob forcing its way from his throat. 

“He won’t hurt you,” Merrin said gently, her hands caressing his face. “He saved us. He saved your life. It wasn’t their fault...”

“I… I hurt you, Merrin I’m so sorry,” Cal wept. He felt weak, his adrenaline beginning to wear off, and he sank to the floor.

“It’s okay, Cal,” Merrin said gently. She wrapped her arms around Cal’s quaking form, one hand running through his hair to offer reassurance. “It’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Hope you're still enjoying the story.


	14. His Nightsister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you, Cal Kestis,” Merrin said in a resolute tone. The declaration caught him off guard and he blushed. She continued, her brows furrowed with determination. “And if you think you can get rid of me, you are dead wrong.”

“It’s okay. Cal… it’s okay.”

Over and over while Cal shook in Merrin’s arms. She waited patiently for him to snap out of it. BD-1 cowered nearby, waiting.

“I’m sorry,” Cal said in a pained voice. His face was buried in her neck, his eyes closed from pain and dizziness… and fear. 

Daryn had left the room at Merrin’s urgent request. She wasn’t sure yet if Cal was ready to face the fact that a clone had saved him and was offering sanctuary. The extent of Order 66 was still so new to her, but she knew enough.

“We are safe, you are safe, you are here with me,” Merrin reassured. She could feel blood still running down her face. The cut on her head was somewhere in her hairline, but her own adrenaline kept her from feeling the pain for now. “Please, look at me.”

Cal pulled away from the sanctuary of Merrin’s arms and brought his eyes to hers. Blood covered her lovely face and hands, and the black eye he had caused was even more prominent than before. Cal caressed her cheek, and she gladly leaned in to his touch. He then moved to brace himself on a nearby table in order to stand. Then, something called to him.

A slight echo in the force was emanating from a footlocker near the door. Cal hobbled over to it despite Merrin’s protest. Inside he found a blaster holster, and an armor chestplate. Taking a breath, Cal reached out and touched the battle-marred piece.

> _ “No, no I won’t. I am a medic, not an executioner.” A desperate plea. Daryn? _
> 
> _ “Your loyalty is now to the empire, and you will do as you are instructed. It is what you have been bred to do.” A harsh tone, sending a cold chill through the air. _
> 
> _ Desperation. Running. Fear.  _

Cal pulled himself out of the echo. He looked at his hand. Daryn had not only refused to kill Jedi, he ran away when the empire had found him and his legion, risking everything.

“Daryn is a clone,” Merrin said quietly. “But he will not harm you. He saved you and I, and we are in his debt.”

“No, I am in yours,” a voice said from the doorway. Daryn had returned, his hands raised to show he was unarmed. “What happened to the Jedi was nothing less than a pre-planned extermination by the emperor. I had no part in it, but I still shoulder the blame.”

Cal’s mouth formed a thin line. Merrin watched him carefully, keeping a hand in his in case he made a move to harm Daryn. He instead moved to stand, Merrin helping him balance on shaky legs. A tense silence filled the small hut. Then, Cal smiled, his eyes no longer stone-cold and staring. “Thank you,” he said. “I think… we both needed this. I don’t know what you have gone through, but from the sound of it, there is a lot of healing to do.”

Merrin breathed a sigh of relief. 

Daylight began to wane as the sun was setting. The three fugitives (and BD-1) were warm and comfortable. Daryn cooked a modest meal for them while Cal helped Merrin clean up from his tirade. His constant apologies peppered every sentence that came out of his mouth.

He himself was feeling better since Daryn gave him more painkillers. A rather thick bacta patch covered his saber wound on his shoulder, and BD-1 sat on his other shoulder. The droid had been exceptionally clingy since Cal had woken.

They sat on the floor as they ate. After sharing stories during the duration of the meal, Cal finally had to bring their plight back out into the open. “We’re vulnerable. And Daryn, you’re going to be in worse trouble if they find out who you are and what you did for us.”

Daryn put down his glass. “It would be worth it. The last five years have been absolute hell. This planet has tried to suck the life out of me, and I don’t know why I even worked this hard to survive. At least I’ve now done something noble.”

Merrin nodded and looked at Daryn apprehensively. “We need a way off of this planet, or at least a way to reach our friends. Can you fly?”

“I can, but finding a ship will be more difficult than you can imagine. This planet is plagued with pirates,” Daryn replied with an annoyed tone. “Once I landed here, I knew I was stuck, especially with a face like mine.”

Cal smirked. “You do look pretty scary,” he said.

Daryn laughed. It was that familiar laugh that all the clones had possessed. Cal sunk into a memory for just a moment. The ache that it caused snapped him out of it. 

“If we can swipe a ship, Merrin can cloak it so we can get off planet easily,” Cal continued. “We know where the partisans are gathered, we can rendezvous with Cere and Greez. They’re probably worried about us.”

“The empire knows we are on this planet, it will be much harder than that to escape,” Merrin lamented. “We do not know if the inquisitor died when she fell off of the speeder.”

“I don’t think so. She didn’t die when I threw her off of the Origin Tree on Kashyyyk,” Cal replied with a huff.

Daryn let out another chuckle. “I can’t tell you how great it is to listen to you, Cal,” he said sincerely. “I’ve missed working alongside the Jedi.”

Cal gave a slight smile. “I didn’t get to be a padawan for very long before the purge, but I’ve had a great mentor these last few months at least. She left the Order, but she’s still taught me so much.” Merrin nodded in agreement.

“Tomorrow we will find a ship. I know a few places we could hit but I will think on it a bit more before we make our move. If it rains tomorrow, that should help our chances of not being caught,” Daryn said, stroking his chin. He stood and gestured to his cot. “Please, you two take the bed, I will sleep on the floor.” He then excused himself to the small lavatory.

Cal eased himself on the cot while trying not to cause himself any pain. Merrin sat on the edge, unsure if she should lay down.

“What?” Cal asked with a frown.

Merrin looked down at him, her face unreadable. “I am still afraid, Cal. Still afraid to lose you, afraid to die. What do we do if we survive this? Continue to put our lives at risk?”

Cal looked away from her. “I don’t know what else to do,” he said. “As a Jedi, I swore to protect. What else is there for me to do?” 

Merrin shifted uncomfortably. “Have you ever thought about just… living?”

Turmoil erupted inside of Cal. He’d never considered just settling down somewhere and living his life. He always had to go and do. To endure, fight, and win. Not…

“Fail,” Merrin said. “All we have done is fail, when will it be enough? Our only success as of late is getting Jyn Erso off of her planet, but did they even survive when Saw had to run away? Is this stress and loss really worth it? We do not even know if Cere and Greez are okay!” 

Cal could sense her pain. He knew what she’d gone through on Dathomir, just like what he had endured.

“You don’t have to… do this with me,” Cal said, still looking away. The words left a horrible taste in his mouth. The thought of being separated from Merrin brought him back to their fight against Achristo and the times they almost lost each other to him. 

“I love you, Cal Kestis,” Merrin said in a resolute tone. The declaration caught him off guard and he blushed. She continued, her brows furrowed with determination. “And if you think you can get rid of me, you are dead wrong.”

“I would never dream of it,” Cal said, his face flushing. He loved her too, but it was hard to say. He still felt a connection to the Jedi Order even though it had fallen. His love for Merrin exceeded anything he’d ever experienced in his life, and his attachment to her was against what he had been taught. However, his attachment also felt like survival. His emotional battering from Order 66 and the years he endured after had left him like a hollow shell. He needed his nightsister and her gentle touch and words.

Cal sighed, still blushing. “Can we talk about this when we are actually off this planet?” he asked softly. His hands reached for her, coaxing her to lay down next to him. She turned into him, her hands up on his chest and her head under his chin. He held her tightly, and for a moment all of the unrest in their world had melted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, still here friends. Hardly proofing these, I have been SO BUSY with work and life and also I got super sick but here you go.

**Author's Note:**

> No promises on chapter length. I write until I decide I need to stop. I'm also barely proofreading after I write hee hee


End file.
